Get off my land!

Written in 2016

I am still angry. It's been over a month and I am still very angry. Why you ask.  Well after I tell you, I fully expect to get virtually lynched for daring to go against the general opinion on how wonderful the event is and that I must be wrong/making it up/out to get money.  I'm not wrong, I'm not making it up and I am owed money!

Farmer Phil's festival is considered as one of the best festies to go to, amongst my musical friends. I had spent all summer working my butt off at other events and decided that Farmer Phil's was the place I needed to be to chill out and let my hair down.  So Friday after work, I came home, got ready and headed out from York (area) to Shrewsbury.  The journey was easy going and I had great tunes playing. I was so hyped up for this weekend of fun with my friends, especially as I hadn't told them I was going.

I arrive at the farm entrance and think 'oh my god, I'm glad I'm not pulling a trailer up this road' there's a huge dip off the main road and I reckon a few traders had problems. But I wasn't trading, I was there for fun.  I drive up to the very nice marshals and they tell me to park on the right so I can get my ticket. I was then sent to pitch up on the fields to the left.  I drove through the gate, which was lined with rocks (to prevent people getting stuck in the mud), around the field - nope, no spaces. To the next field. Big dips, bigger rocks and bigger ruts to navigate. I managed it at a careful pace around field two. Nope, no spaces. To field three, massive dips and rocks in the gateway, I'd go as far as saying that some of those were boulders.  I steer carefully to the left around the worse of it and travel down the field. Deeply rutted and not so easy to get the car to navigate, I chose the spot near the tree.  It was nearly dark, I then battled to put the tent up in the wind.  I tried to text my son to say I'd arrived safely and no luck there, the whole area is a signal deadspot (except Beth's phone for some reason lol).  I got changed and headed up to the arena.

At this point I should really mention that I have chronic arthritis in my knees and my back is fairy fubar'd.  I don't let this stop me though and have worked in my food van at festivals and events.  These comprise of standing up for 12-18 hour days, having 4-5 hours sleep and then doing it all again the next two days.  Sure I get tired and I suffer afterwards but I can still manage as long as there's a co-codamol.  It's dark, I can't see where I'm going, there's no lights but my mobile phone torch.  I get to the first gate, legs are aching. I carefully avoid the big ruts hidden in the grass, nearly turning my ankle a few times. I face the boulders and navigate them. I find a least bothersome path and walk along the path through the next field.  Next gate, not as bad but still hard work trying to walk on it without turning my ankle and falling over.  Along the field path to the next gate and smaller rocks.  I stop knackered at the bottom of the hill.  Shit! That's a climb.  I take a slow but steady walk up the hill.  Legs are killing me, nothing to grab on to so I keep going.  Aha! Security guys and a security fence to lean on.  Have a chat with them while I recover and then head off in to the arena.

It's all new to me. I've never been here before. I'm looking for familiar faces. I find them in the Cheezy Vinyl bar - I love that place, it's so cool in there.  There I stay, sipping port, eating cheese and singing along with Brian Stone until about 2am.  We all head back down to the campsite and it's a repeat battle through the first two fields.  I watched the meteor showers with Brian and then after an hour, we both headed to our own beds.  That star gazing was the highlight of my weekend by the way. Standing under the stars, feeling so small and in awe of the vastness of space above us as bits of it fall on Earth... mind blowing stuff and very cool.  I managed to get back to my tent without falling in a hole and got into bed. Boy did the wind howl that night, glad I'd used extra tent pegs.

Saturday morning.  I wanted to get up early enough to catch Brian and Doozer on stage, as I was doing photos.  I got dressed, put all the stuff in my bag that I needed too and headed up.  In daylight it was only slightly less dangerous.  People were carrying their kids and buggies over the gateway obstabacle course, they didn't seem to fussed by it to be fair, they seemed to be used to it. I wasn't. I was in pain.  I saw Kate who said her wheelchair battery had run out from the steep climb up the hills. I saw a guy with no legs below the knees, walking along with crutches. I wish I didn't have knees at that point, he seemed to be doing better than me!

So you get the idea, I was tired, in pain and not having fun because pain kinda blocks that.  BUT I park my butt in front of the main stage with my mates and watched some great bands.  I appreciated the good sound quality and good stage management. I watched everyone around me laughing, drinking and having fun.  It wasn't a very big area but that made it more personal.  I had a little explore around the arena and found the Cantinas food place.  Great food! I love the fact they had all that variety and it was all good quality stuff. Those things are very important to me, and it's the business model I follow for my own catering business.  I was conned into buying ickle Pixie child a replacement lolly and we meandered up the slope, pass by the fantastic rhino sculpture, worked our way through the circus area with kids having a great time on unicycles and the performers showing them how to do neat tricks, to the sweetie van.  That was great, I thoroughly enjoyed that area, wish I'd seen more of the arena.   I watch some more music and it starts getting chilly, I'm wearing shorts.  I walk back down to the campsite with some friends, stopping at theirs in the first field (the nice flattish one with no rocks in lol), have dinner there and then head to my tent so I could get changed.  Well that was the plan. By the time I got to my tent, my legs were ready to give way, I was in a lot of pain and in tears. I have a high pain threshold and I'm not a weepy kinda girl.  I sat on my bed to rest, it was about 8pm, I could hear Gaz Brookfield wrapping up his set.  Next thing i know, it's midnight and Dreadzone were on.  I lay there, pissed off, still in pain and didn't see the point in getting up when it had all effectively finished. All my friends would have been well lubricated by that point and it's not like I could call any of them as there was no signal.  I thought about Sunday, repeating the same journey and knew I couldn't.  I thought about missing Ferocious Dog, a band where you will find me in the mosh pit.  There was no prospect of that happening. I fought the urge to go home there and then.  I convinced myself to sleep on it.

I woke up at 7am, my back was killing me.  I knew the disabled and normal loos were at the top of the field and I knew that they were utterly disgusting.  Did I also mention I have IBS?  This was not fun. I was pain, I was fuming and I was packed up and gone by 7.30am on Sunday morning.  Driving out of the field was a nightmare. One of your marshals dropped off a drunk woman near my tent as I got in my car, they were on a ATV and they struggled over that gate/field.  As I wasn't driving the same path as I came in, there was a huge dip and boulder in my path, so I had to 3 point turn the car around and head out of the gate, like I had coming in.  Crunch, ground, crunch, swear, fume, crunch.  Did I mention I had just spent a lot of money that week fixing my car?  Next gate, not as bad but still awful, next gate and I said bye to the marshal and got out of there.  That dip by the top... how the hell do you lot do that onto a main road with fuck all visibility?

Now I accept it's a working farm. It's not going to be perfect. I accept it's beautiful countryside and great music.  I accept there were problems with the people who were supposed to be maintaining the loos. But I do not accept that you did a proper risk assessment. I do no accept that there were fucking boulder and brick sized rocks in the gateways. I do not accept the lack of lighting to help people not hurt themselves over these dangerous areas.  I do not accept my car being damaged because of your slack attitude to customer safety. I do not accept that your risk assessments covered those points I've made and if they did, I'd like to see a copy of that!  There are no warning signs, there are no declarations about not being liable for damages.  Deerstock and Wistful, both working farms - not dangerous.  I've organised biker rallies, I know about risks and reducing them and having public liability insurance to cover your arse if anything goes wrong.

Nearly 20 years that festival has been going?  No hand wash or sanitiser in the toilets in the arena. No towel or dryer. There was an old abandoned birds nest in one towel dispenser!  There were no bins in or near the toilets, so people were throwing their used tissues (for drying their hands) in the sinks, on the floor.  The only bins I saw were the big recycling crates (kudos for that).  You can't blame a company letting you down on that, that's down to the committee to sort out the moment it becomes a problem. I was told by several people that if the environmental health had turned up on Thursday night, you'd have been shut down as there was no running water for the loo's etc etc.

I'm fairly sure that large ponds shouldn't be blue - that kinda suggest it's blue algae which is highly toxic to people and dogs swimming in it.  There were so many little things, that a well established festival crew should have nailed down to perfection.  I was told that Chris twisted/broke his ankle there last year and so did Farmer Phil... you tell me that isn't true and that Phil just twisted his ankle after falling on wet grass.  Like that makes it all ok.  Those little things ruined my weekend.

I drove home with my car clonking over every small bump in the road. I had anxiety attacks most of the way home. I will spare describing what those were like, not had them that bad for a very very long time.  I missed seeing my friends, my fav bands and to top it all off, when I went back to my mechanic on Monday, I'm told that my suspension coil has snapped in two. Oh and if that had popped off when I was driving home, I'd be dead!

I waited ages before I messaged your admin team. I waited to calm down. I was first met with concern and sympathy. Then the replies got decidedly curt.  I only asked for your insurance company details so I could put a claim in for damages to my car.  No company name, just a contact name and a phone number.  He was rather curt too, I already know that putting this claim in will be an epic pain in the arse.  What is worse, is being made to feel like I'm not allowed to complain about the festival, especially as so many enjoyed it, and so they should, it looked awesome. BUT not for me and I know I'm not alone in overcoming these difficulties.  I do not want money for personal injury, I want the money I spent fixing my car, that your festival and lack of care, caused, it's only about £150-£200, it's not like I'm trying to rob you.  Such small things to get wrong, with such massive impact on people like me.  I won't be going back. I know a few others who won't. I know many will because they love the atmosphere and revelling with their friends.  I think most of them would have a good time regardless of where they were lol.

Rubble = size of your hand.  Rocks = brick size(ish).  Boulders = a foot across!

Stories held hostage

This week I was listening to Rabbi Julia Neuberger give a short sermon on Pause for thought, a long running albeit short segment, on the BBC Radio 2 breakfast show.  In this particular Thought, she discussed about the new Holocaust stories, that are still emerging, after all this time. People, she said, didn't want to die with their stories trapped inside them, and even in their 90's, were sharing them for the first time.  'No one should face their death with your story untold and your music inside you'.  'Don't die with your music still inside you.'  This sentence really resonated with me! Julia said that we all have stories to tell, whether extreme or seemingly ordinary - all are valid and important.

I have always said that music is the food for your soul.  Our stories are the lyrics of how our lives are too.  Us humans are social creatures, we need companionship, we need to speak to others about our day and to say the words in our head out loud for SOMEONE to hear, to listen, to interact and respond.  Perhaps that is why loneliness is so utterly soul destroying.  Isolation, no one to talk to, no one to listen to you, no one to care for, no one to care for you, time to turn inwards and self destruct, talking to yourself, rambling on to anyone you meet (and watching the alarm that causes) and finally feeling like you are invisible and that the world has forgotten about you.  Sure there's social media but seeing your friends posting pictures and live videos of them having a good time without you, triggers so many negative emotions. You become hopeful when they all share the 'look out for lonely friends and reach out to them' posts... but no one does. You aren't included. You have to suck it up and get on with it. Smile and pretend it's not hurting you.

I love cooking for people. I love to eat food with people. When you eat alone, you're just fuelling your body or feeding your woes. When you eat with others, you interact with people, you take your time eating, you savour the food and you enjoy it.  Eating alone sucks. You end up not cooking yourself anything because it's just you. So it's bowls of cereal instead of proper meals, weight gain because depression suppresses your appetite and your body starves for calories, fluids and the company of someone, ANYONE to remind you that you are part of the human race.  Lonely people are slowly dying inside. Everyone can see it, few realise their company can cure it.

These last 2 years have seen a lot of friends mainly leave my life. You can't help but wonder why. What is it about you that makes you so easy to discard, when previously you were valued? This applies to exes too! I had such a close knit group of friends, not even that long ago. Life takes us all off in different directions, friends come and go... but so many went around the same time.  It really hurt me.  I blame myself but then I get angry at that because I didn't do anything wrong for them to do that. The really painful bit is the realisation that they had so little respect for you, such low worth of your friendship, that they could just go from your life without even an argument or real reason.  How does it go from one extreme to another, so quickly?  These are the questions that tear me up inside. Of course, I'm far too tough to admit it and I don't want to draw attention to the fact that I'm vulnerable.  I am. Sure, I've made mistakes but ultimately, I was more a friend to them, than they were to me. I hate saying that.

My story comprises mostly of pain. If I was a book character, I'd like to be Elizabeth Bennett, she's fiesty, intelligent and astute!  Did you know that I've written a book?  A collection of poems, musings, blogs and photographs I've penned since I was 13. Blimey, that was a decade ago!  Book 2 would look like what? Not very interesting I think.  My stories are stuff of horror.  I really shouldn't be here to type this.  I can't seem to remember my other stories, ones that aren't written in pain and injustice, they've been blocked out by the bad. Normal memories are gone, bad ones remain.  Laughter chases them away, loneliness brings them back and amplifies them.  I don't want to die with my stories trapped inside of me, not these stories anyway.  I want some normal tales to tell. Normal for me shouldn't be what my life has been so far.  I've had counselling in the past. I am a survivor. I've overcome. Call me a victim and I'll get really angry, really fucking quickly.  Back in 2001, I went through more traumatic incidents in 6 months, than most people face in a life time. I wouldn't wish any of that on anyone.  Counselling helped to a degree but I just can't get past it, it's still consumes me and affects my life still.  When bad things happen to you, you've lost control of your narrative, so then develop a defensive mechanism to regain control, usually it's really unhealthy.  The more I look into it, the more I realise I have PTSD.  It is my intention to ask my GP to refer me for more therapy but specialised.  I don't have control, I am controlled by past trauma, which triggers panic attacks etc.

The tops of my socks have been pulled off.  Sucking it up didn't work.  I am broken.  I need my friends to be my friends. I don't mind the solitude but I can't survive this loneliness.  I don't want your pity.  This isn't a poor me post.  I was there for many when their worlds crumbled around them. I was there to pick them up, dust them off and build them back up.  Everyone has their own lives to live, I understand that. Stop being so fucking selfish!  People kill themselves and then we say 'oh, why didn't they say anything?' they did. you weren't paying attention. Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Good. Sharing 'reach out' posts on Facebook means fuck all if you don't walk your talk.  Did you know I created a secret group for some friends who feel they can't share their down time with their FB friends?  Cries for help get ignored. It's 'drama'. It's attention seeking. It's well outside your comfort zone and you'd rather click like on cat pictures, than reach out to a friend in crisis.   No one says you have to rescue us but what you can't do, is PRETEND to give a shit, tell people you're there for them and 'you're always listening', and then IGNORE those who are trying to reach out.  My group exists because of people like that.  You aren't a good person for sharing that meaningless shit, it's purely YOU seeking attention, wanting approval for being someone you're not. For example: I share that I'm feeling down, I get 2 comments and 7 likes. I share some silly video or funny meme and I get 20+ comments and nearly 100 likes!  That's disgraceful!

I don't want this to be the only story I have to tell but it's the one I'm living in right now.  If you don't bother with me and then ask me how I am, I'm going to blurt out how I feel because it's been building up, ready to burst. I have other things to say but when you're not around, you won't hear the good stuff. My group do! If you aren't there for me when I am down, then you don't deserve to be my friend when it's going well.

The music inside me is beautiful. That is the story I want to tell.

I Survived

The other night I was watching tv and suddenly had the urge to write something down. I've not written a poem for a couple of years and haven't felt the need to blog since last year.  I think I was flipping through the tv guide on the screen when I saw a show listed called 'I survived'. Well that just opened a floodgate and my pen spewed this lot out.  Yes it rhythms but meh...


She survived far too much to remember
she got over your words so cruel
she toughened her heart not to cry
she became hard outside

Broken deep within
the abuse took seed
and twisted her guts
til it grew a mighty tree

She felt ugly and unwanted, 
rejection was rife
the shit just kept hitting the fan
she tried to take her life

The pain and guilt surrounded
her very soul inside
eating her up completely
hard to recognise

She starred at the abyss
and yearned to fall in
to suffer no more but
she didn't know how to give in

She survived her soul being crushed
she looks back now confused
she doesn't recognise that woman
she is me, is you too

I survived, although I don't know how
I survived, we have that power
I survived, over and over again
She doesn't exist because I survived.


I really do not recognise the person who went through all that.  I know I did but it's like it happened to someone else.  Ce la vie...

Zodiac

week 51

Zodiac

People either believe or don't believe in astrology.  I do. Not Mystic Smeg amounts of gash you read in the papers, but the proper look at the placement of the stars from when you were born etc.

How can the stars define who you are? That's what people scoff... well why not? Yes they are balls of gaseous burning rock millions of miles away and yes, they could even be dead by the time their light reaches our planet, but so what?  Why not believe?  People believe in religion and some of that is frankly insane, delusional and normally would have you committed... but call it religion and it's OK. So why is that OK, but believing in the stars isn't?  It's a rhetorical question really.

I've had my chart done on line and it was scarily accurate.  It wasn't a couple of lines of generalisation, it was fairly in depth.  The description of my star sign is me down to the T. Yes, some are fairly general but the traits outlined are typical to most Pisces I know.

I don't know how it works but it does interest me a lot.  It is a science that has been practiced for thousands of years.  If modern folk want to scoff and put it down, then let them.  So people will argue the toss over anything and have no magic in their souls.

I've also had a look at the Chinese year and what year animal I am... and that's about bang on too. Dragon... rarrr!

So what am I? I am a Pisces, rising sign is Scorpio. Moon sign is Pisces... I'm a typical Pisces... which itself is an oxymoron lol

oh you better believe it!!

As with this craft, it is exploited and the horoscope industry is estimated to be worth billions of pounds a year.  People looking for guidance, turn to their stars to see when they will change... and they get charged for it and there are computer programs with complicated algorithms that 'predict' your future going on a few minor details you supply.  Plotting your astrology chart is more complex than that.  Just like flipping a few cyber tarot cards isn't the same as a physical reading with someone to channel the reading energy and connect to YOU and to read YOU and your situation and to guide you.  Vulnerable people in pain pay... and that is the sad fact of the 'industry'.  Be you pagan or any other faith.  Pain is universal.

Astrology is practiced throughout the world, going back thousands of years. There is something to be found in the stars and where you fit in to the Universe... but many modern methods of this are flawed and should be taken with a grain of salt.... or bucket load!

Yellow

Week 50

Yellow, yes yellow... a wonderful colour that fills our world with life.  I was just researching the Yin Yang to write about it and then remembered I had planned a blog on the colour yellow.

Winter is over and spring is announced when the world springs forth yellow blooms.

The crocus pops up as spring gets ready to announce itself.
It's spring when the daffodils rise and shake their heads at the sun.

When the forsythia turns the hedges from green to brilliant yellow, it's nearly summer.

The sun! Oh that glorious burning star in the sky that gives us light and warmth, beams to us yellow. 

When the sun rises and sets, the world is bathed in a myriad of yellow and golden hues.

The solstice celebrates the death and birth of the sun. The decent and ascent of the sun in our skies. The length of the day and night - how much sun rays soak us.

Seasonal affective disorder is sun-depression. The lack of yellow, of light, of life giving rays.

Yellow is healing - the solar plexus chakra is represent by the colour yellow. The breath of life aka Manna, represented by the Dolphin in the medicine cards.

Walking on the golden sands, sun in the sky, waves lapping the shore - these are beautiful moments.

Citrine

USES: Citrine is a premier stone of manifestation, imagination, and personal will. Carrying the power of the sun, it is warm and comforting, energizing and life giving. It stimulates the chakras like the sunlight of spring, clearing the mind and stirring the soul to action. Its frequency awakens creativity and imagination, and sustains the process of transforming dreams and wishes into tangible form. With its pure yellow energy, Citrine encourages fullness of life, fresh beginnings and new pursuits.  Citrine is a popular healing and meditation crystal. This natural Citrine with its internal dynamics is reported to be able to clarify your thoughts and allow the creative juices to flow in your mind. Source 

Look at the keywords used here: pure yellow energy; fullness of life; life giving; energizing; like sunlight of spring .... none of these are my words, yet this yellow crystal has been found to hold the qualities above and is described as being like sunlight, life giving and energizing.  It is a stone I do not have, but I've been drawn to it lately, obviously because I need some of what it has to give.

Those who heal, channel golden light through themselves, as a vessel.  Yellow is a powerful colour. Betty Shine spoke of colour healing in her books, wearing an item of clothing to project that energy. For example, if you needed to speak with confidence, you'd wear the colour associated with your throat chakra - blue.  You would wear blue jewellery, or a scarf or a top. It is thought that colour is part of you aura.... some people are colourful, vibrant and full of life.  Some need colour in their life.

Every year my sister runs away abroad, to sunnier climes. Not necessarily warmer, but where there is a lot of daylight. She has SAD, lack of sun sickness, really kicks in a massive bout of depression. I think that in the winter months, while we have shorter days, the suns intensity is greater. The skies are blue, the air crisp, the sun is brilliant.  The sunrise and sunset are spectacular and leave you in awe at the coloured spectacle around you.  Whilst it's not my favourite season, it isn't all doom and gloom and should be seen without blinkers on.

Parachutes

I bought this album back in 2002 and didn't really click with it at all. I was going to take it back... then I had a massive nervous breakdown.  I recall lying in a bath, totally locked away in a horrible depression and Parachutes was playing on my stereo.  I had heard the album a few times before and it was background noise really.  The half way through the album, something clicked. It was a lightbulb moment. The music lifted me up and the words washed my depression away.  People say that Coldplay is depressing but that's because they haven't listened to the lyrics, really listened to the way the music reaches in and pulls you up.  I was suicidal at that time and had tried to crash my car.... after the light went on, I didn't want to die anymore. I felt alive.  Whenever the black dog pays me a visit, when I feel really really low, I play Parachutes and I feel better.  It's my medicine. Yellow was the track that did it.  He looks so young in the video lol...

Look at the world around you, look outside your bubble. The Universe is bigger than you think and it is trying to show you it's messages of splendor. Take your blinkers off and SEE what is truly there. The colour yellow is one we couldn't live without.  

May the sunbeams find you. Live life and love /|\

winter sunset

winter sunset

summer sun

autumn sunset

autumn sunset

dead oak, winter sunset

summer sunset

summer solstice sunset at Long Meg

summer solstice sunrise at Castlerigg

Spring is coming...

You-le

week 49

The Guardian newspaper. Image by Ben Birchall (c)

Winter Solstice is fast approaching. It's minutes into the 1st of December as I type this and it's only 20 days until the solstice.  The sun is already almost at the lowest it will get on the horizon and after the solstice, will start to climb a little higher each day, thus our days will become longer. The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year and falls on the 21st-23rd of December.

Actually it's 6 days until the solstice, I've done it again, I've not blogged on time! Dammit... actually it's well past the solstice now and new years eve day.... I'm so pants!

I had planned to attend the solstice celebrations at Stonehenge this year but alas, finances will not permit it.  I'm not sure what I am going to do instead. I don't really 'celebrate' the festivals, I give them the nod and observe the change of seasons as the next stage of life/death unfolds.

That's what the festivals are for, to give thanks for the changing season and to ask for the harvest to grow; to give thanks for the harvest; to feast the birth and death of the sun.  According to Prof Ron Hutton in his book The Staions of the Sun, the Roman church decided in about 400AD that there was too many festivals in December, 27 I think and that it needed to be whittled in to one - Christmas. Jesus wasn't born in December, that is just the date the church decided on. It is said he was born in March time, make sense that he'd be a Pisces, they are the best healers ;)

There are all kinds of traditions associated with Yule.  Each region will have a variation of these traditions.  In Brighton, they 'burn the clocks' a new festival started 20 years ago for all faiths to celebrate the solstice. This is a decent site with some traditions on. There is this article on the BBC website, although I think it's inaccurate. I'm fairly sure the druids didn't start the yule log tradition and mistletoe rarely grows on oaks, it's found on many other trees but when it's found on oak, it's very special indeed.

Here's what happened at Stonehenge for the winter solstice this year, the weather was a lot better than last year and there was less complaints about staff attitude and being harassed to be in and out within an hour and a half.  The Round Table talks and many complaints, improved matters greatly.

The Guardian reported this article
The Daily Fail did they usual level of accurate reporting and wrote this article
BBC article
National Geographic article

It is believed that most stone circles/monuments are aligned for the winter solstice, which is a theory I believe in.  Orkney article . Newgrange article (and check out Paul Deveruax's books on this)

So why did I call this blog you-le.... well it's a play on words of course. What YOU do to celebrate yule/solstice is up to YOU. You create your own traditions and you don't have to subscribe to any one elses version of ancient ways.  Hell, you can even create your own... and why not. Burning the clocks looks like a good craic and it brings all together.

I don't celebrate New Year really, nor have resolutions for improvement. For ME the new year is Samhain.  I strive to be a better person every day and not just some empty gesture once a year. Whatever YOU do, I hope you have a wonderful year ahead.

Be yourself, be well, be happy /|\

Music to blog too (x)

week 47

Music to blog to

My creative stint appears to be every 3 weeks, when I find myself blogging until the birds are yawning and up early to catch them worms, I listen to a collection of new age music.  So as 'x' is a free card week, I shall give you the list of awesome music I play whilst typing my thoughts for Pagan Blog Project.

• Sacred Spirit. I have had this cd for about 20 years and I have yet to tire of it. Ambient, trancy in places and haunting... you can still buy it from Amazon or other places.  I play this during my tarot readings, spirit work etc.  The YouTube link below is the whole album... some heated comments on this video but I say ignore them and don't get drawn in by YouTrolls and enjoy the journey.

• Nigel Shaw - Requiem.  I met Nigel a few years back when he was performing for his friends, at their handfasting.  I had a chat with him about playing the native american flute and where to get music sheets from... really nice chap and very talented musician.  I really need to check out the rest of his work but Requiem is spine tinglingly good. Opens me up and takes me away. If you're interested, visit the website to purchase the music and other arts.  Nigel Shaw's YouTube channel can be found via the video below.

• Dragonfly Moon - Full Circle.  I met Scott and Susan at Beltane Bash in London a few years go when they were teaching a drumming class and performing. They were also performing at the handfasting that Nigel was (all good friends).  A lovely couple who live on a little Scottish island. Scott and Susan work as Dragonfly Moon and have released a few solo albums too, all of which I own.  My favourite is Full Circle, with Rigatona's daughter being a close second. Scott once said to me that he was taught music classically for 15 years and then spent the next 15 unlearning it.  Both very talented musician and song writers. If you get a chance to see them, do!  Here is a video I compiled with my images, set to two of their songs from Full Circle.  I'm a bit out of touch it seems... just looking on their facebook page and it seems they are no longer performing and aren't together anymore either.  Bummer :(  Reverb

• Peter Nightingale - Last Buffalo. An amazing flute player, he can make a tune out of ANYTHING. I can't find anything online to share. He's on my Facebook friends and travels to the USA a lot to be part of tribal ceremonies. 
• David Maracles - Spirit Flutes. You know those cd's you get at garden centres? The ones with the button, you press and it plays a track of each album displayed... well I got one from Woolworths years ago that I still play often.  Chilled out native Amercian style music. 

There's a few more but they should keep you busy for now.