Death

It is a subject that has kept cropping up this last week and last night, a beautiful old lady died at the age of 110.  Maybe my blog was late because I needed her words to inspire me.  Who knows.

The one thing certain in life is that you are going to die.  Morbid? Not really, it is a reality. I have found this last year, I have been very conscious of my own mortality and are times when I constantly think about me dying and what I'm leaving behind.  It's not constructive or healthy but it is natural considering I am going through the grieving process.

I lost my estranged brother to cancer last March. I also lost my ex-best friend Lorna to a heart attack. I lost a brother Knight Ghyll to cancer. I lost a friend and colleague Gail to a bike crash. The one year old boy called Ryan who I'd been sending healing to, died of the same cancer my brother did and another biker mate Tom died of pneumonia. All within a couple of months.  By July, I was a total mess. I was laying on the table at my osteopaths (he is also a reiki master and acupuncturist and clairvoyant) and he was sorting out my knees with acupuncture and talking about why I was upset.  He asked me why it was that I believed in the after life and spirit contact but was upset about death.  I replied that it wasn't the dying, it was what I left behind that upset me.  What would happen to my son, my home, my possessions, my cats... what would people say at the funeral, to my son, who'd raise him, would me cats be put in homes .... you get the idea. The thought of all of this ate me up inside.

As time has gone on, this fear has eased off but it's still there. Depression amplifies this fear and I'm up and down with that due to my current physical state. I'm due to have general anaesthetic next month for an operation on my knees. I have been sedated before but not totally under, that deep sleep could be a wonderful thing where I travel or it could be the death of me. I think it's the thought of the needles that's doing me in the most and the loss of control over my body.  So now getting my Will in order and going to do a video telling people what I want/don't want at my funeral.  In a non-morbid way, I've been planning my funeral music for years... music is such a big part of my life and when I've been to others funerals, the music played at them represented who they were.

I think it would be a good idea to make sure your family and friends know what you want to happen with your remains, the sort of funeral you want and what you represent. I've been to too many where the funeral was the last thing that person would have wanted and it was more what their family wanted. That's not right.

Yesterday the oldest survivor of the concentration camps died aged 110.  You may have seen her on documentaries about people living active lifestyles well past their 100th year. Alice was the lady who played the piano. Her music kept the spirits up in those retched places and gave some hope to those who had none. She continued to play until the day she died. It will be easier for me to copy and paste the news article about her life. It's worth sharing.

"I think I am in my last days but it does not really matter because I have had such a beautiful life.

"And life is beautiful, love is beautiful, nature and music are beautiful. Everything we experience is a gift, a present we should cherish and pass on to those we love."

Ms Herz-Sommer recalled "always laughing" during her time in Terezin, where she and other inmates put on occasional concerts.

She said the joy of making music had kept their spirits up.

"These concerts, the people are sitting there, old people, desolate and ill, and they came to the concerts and this music was for them our food. Music was our food. Through making music we were kept alive."

Life IS beautiful. Love IS beautiful. Nature and music ARE beautiful. She never lost sight of this and this resonates with me hugely.  I see the beauty in everything around me... even when I'm low.  So thank you Alice for reminding me that inspite of the horrors you face, life can be good.  What an inspirational, beautiful person.  Rest in peace, you've earned it x

Naked trees

Bare blue skies

Last years leaves

Litter the ground

Cold winds blow

A mighty chill

Rain turns to snow

The sun climbs higher

Daffodils and crocus

Snowdrops and catkins

Life has burst thru

The cold hard earth

Life is imminent

It's waiting to bloom

Green shoots and colours

Birds return home

Colder weather will come

Life still breaks thru

Defying frozen death

Under frost and snow

New life breaks thru

Winters death begins to wane

Sunny days and blue skies

Wake us up within

New life in Springtime

The lambing season not far

Cold winds may blow

Spring has been announced

written by me =o))

Edited to add that, life is about death. As a pagan, you observe the season changes.. when the world is reborn (spring), when it feeds us (summer) when we harvest (autumn) and when the world dies (winter). It's all about life and death cycles.  For some, death is just the next big adventure. Every culture, faith and religion in all corners of the world has their own version of what happens when you die, where you go and what you do.  As a medium, I know spirit goes on... death is only a transition. But by gods, it's a painful one, especially for those left behind.  As a healer, I try to make the transition as peaceful as possible but that's another story.  Thanks for reading x

Dreamtime

I saw this in the prompt list and thought hmmmm... think I'll give that a go.

Back in 1998, I met one of my spirit guides. Everyone has a Native American one it seems.. at that time I wasn't really aware of any of my guides, although I'm sure they were there all the same.

I was laying on my bed whilst on the phone to Lorna with a piece of Laboradite on my forehead, as you do, when I became aware of an Aboriginal man standing there, not wearing much and holding a big staff. He told me I could call him John, although that wasn't his real name. He also told me that we used to walk the Songlines together in a past life and that he'd stayed in spirit and I'd decided to be reborn. I have always had a longing to return to Ayres Rock/Ulura, although I've not been there in this lifetime.  I have friends in Australia and I intend to go there in the next couple of years.  Money is very tight but it's worth saving for.

Just wow! Source - here

The songlines are what we'd call leylines or meridians. They are energy pathways, linking places in the land. In the UK there are several main leylines that have prominent monuments on them. They are ancient procession routes, pilgrims walked them and worshiped at key locations on the way. These can be found throughout the Earth.  Some are so straight, it's a wonder how the ancients were able to map them without our modern instruments. Look at the pyramids - there's no clear view, yet they managed to line them all up within a few degrees. There's so many examples to give, it makes you think 'how' they did it. I find this all truly amazing and it's something I'm deeply interested in.

Source here

People seem to think that because you know about a past life, that it means you know everything about it. Not true. I am shown glimpses of it and then I have to work it out.  Also what I knew then, isn't what I'm supposed to know now unless I'm shown it.  I have found that I am able to tap into old knowledge, I seem to just know things... I will be given inspirations during a working to do something a certain way, which I believe is spirit guiding me. I certainly do not own any books on that sort of thing. I have had many past lives but as I always say to people, it's what you learn in THIS lifetime that's important. Usually there's a repeat lesson to learn... not sure what my one is. I keep coming back though, hmm.

I am a big dreamer. I travel in my dreams. I often get a flashback of my dreams a few hours after I've woken up.  They are always in colour and always so real.  I find myself thinking that I've been somewhere and then realise that it's only a dream memory, not one from actually going.  Very discombobulating. Had to get that word in somehow hahaha!  Your dreams are the key to your subconscious. I like to do dream analysis and have a couple of books that I use for reference. One is all doom and gloom, everything you dream is going to mean something bad... and the other is one of those you find in WHSmith, basic, with pretty pictures and a more user friendly.  Using keywords from these and some clairvoyance, I am usually able to give a good reading on a dream.

I have woken up, sitting up in bed before talking Italian. I can't speak Italian. I was talking to my great grandad, whom I never met.  I have woken up talking to a knight sitting on a chair in the corner of the B&B room opposite Beaumaris castle. That was freaky.  I often wake up talking and more recently 'what are you doing?' to a person who's saying something to me whilst I'm asleep. There's only me in the room.  It's really annoying! I have been woken up after it felt like I had been stabbed in the hand.  I turned the light on, looking at my hand to see if there was a mark and remembering the pain but couldn't see any evidence.  He's not visited recently but for a while, I could hear a deep voice and there was a man with tight curly black hair talking to me.  I got the impression he was Greek or from that part of the world.  I did consider whether it was my voice and even downloaded one of those apps on my phone to capture it happening. Haven't yet.

Dreamtime art, done for a school project! See more here

Lizard is one of my totem animals. Lizard is dreaming. Yes, I incorporate the beliefs of many nations, into my own. Their stories resonate with me. Yes, I have since met my Native American spirit guide.. I didn't want to be left out lol.

Living in a dreamworld

Reality within reach

Crystal blue skies

And a warm sandy beach

High peaks capped

With white fluffy clouds

Fast mountain rivers

With mist as their shrouds

Lost in space

As time passes by

Billions of stars

Burn holes in the night

Faraway places

That call to me often

Ayres rock, plateaus

Table top mountain

The inevitable question

Breaks my astral dream

My son wakes me and asks

'Mum, what's for tea?'

by me circa 1999

Crystals & Chakras

I'm staring at a blank page now for the last few hours... not feeling it this week. But will give it a go... (2 weeks later and I'm finally attacking it lol)

Crystals
I was introduced to these in 1998 by a friend who taught me about crystal healing and using them in meditation etc.  I have a big collection now and there was a period when I didn't touch them for a few years but I've rediscovered them and started using them again.  I haven't done any courses on it but I do have a couple of good books that I use for reference.

I have found that when I do a tarot reading for someone, I get them to pick a crystal from the box, they then hold this during the reading. After the reading, I look up the stone they've chosen in the book and every time, it's relevant to what's going on with them at the moment. The stone picks them.

I use crystals every day.  I usually wear a bloodstone bracelet and have a variety of necklaces with crystals in.  Each day I'm drawn to a particular one and I'll wear it.  Some times I carry them in my pocket, depending if I'm ailing, then I'll pick up my crystal book and look it up, pick a crystal and pop it in my pocket or under my pillow. I use two books 'The Crystal and Mineral guide' by John Lee - a booklet really that I got for £3.50. No pictures but very good for reference. The other is a bible sized book 'Love is in the Earth' by Melody, also no pictures but full of crystals you've never heard of and it's more detailed. My friend Andrea was lucky enough to meet her and helped her work on the second book.

Apothylite

I've heard people talk about working with crystals and some times, my fluffy-radar goes off and I glaze over. Scientific fact: everything on this earth vibrates. Each object has a vibration rating. We cannot see/feel those vibrations but they can  be measured with scientific instruments (don't ask me what ones, I don't know).  The theory is, and is one that I believe in, is that by placing an object with a certain vibration level, on an area that needs healing, it will assist in balancing that area and thus help with the healing.  Do I think crystals 'talk' to you - no.  Do I think they feel pain - no. Do I think they are the cure all for everything - no. Do I think they have magical properties - mmm some times but that depends on your definitions of magic.

Quartz ball

Crystal balls have always been deemed as magical.  Historically, crystals have been used as talismans and worn for protection.  Solomon wore Lapis Lazuli on his breast plate.  People have worn gem stones in jewellery for as long as people have adorned themselves with clothing.  Usually the early examples are those that weren't mined and were found on the beaches, in rock faces etc so amber (which isn't technically a crystal as it's fossilised tree sap), jet, amethyst, jasper, quartz ...  Those ruby, diamond, sapphire, emerald rings and fine jewellery are crystals - just a higher grade and 'flawless'.  People have always been drawn to crystals and gemstones.  I have a lovely ruby in fuchite piece with several rubies in it but it's a fraction of the price of a gem stone quality ruby you'd pay hundreds for at a jewellers.

Amber set in silver bracelet

I have quite a large collection now. I used to be able to name each one and tell you what they are good for but as they say 'if you don't use it, you lose it' and that knowledge is in the back of my mind blocked in by other things.  It comes back to me and I have started to use crystals again.

My favourite pieces at the moment are quartz, lithium, clear, rose and smokey; melinite, lapis lazuli and amethyst.  I have a lovely quartz crystal ball with huge infractions that look like an icy landscape. There is a piece of jewellery I bought off a friend that is copper with snowflake obsidian beads and the main piece is a triple terminated smokey quartz. It was one of those pieces I was instantly drawn too. I left it a few weeks and it was still on her stall, so I bought it. I put it on and was drunk within a few minutes. It was exactly like being really drunk! My friends were on the floor laughing at me trying to speak a straight sentence and I was slurring my words a bit.  Never had that happen to me before... so I only wear it now when I need to do some spirit work or during meditation.

click - Black Orchid Designs

I read in Caitlin Matthews book 'Singing the soul back home' that people shouldn't put crystals on 'just anywhere' and they can actually cause a lot of damage to the auric field if they don't know what they are doing.  I can see her point because there was a fad a few years back where colleges were doing two day courses and then that person was 'qualified' to be a crystal healer and at that time, they charged £40 for a healing session. It was a new age healing explosion and worth lots of money.  Another friend of mine did a course for nearly two years, where she learnt about the human body, the organs and intricate details about crystals, making elixirs and all sorts of things.  She knew was properly trained and knew what she was doing.  These types of courses are less popular at colleges now, the fashion has moved on to other areas thank gods!  So I have to agree with Caitlin, don't just go putting any old crystal on your chakras without knowing what you are doing. That crystal has a certain vibration, that is interrupting your energy field and energy centres.... wearing certain crystals around your neck is not suitable.  There are loads that make you feel spacey and open you up - why put that on all day? Are you mad?! Those are the ones you wear during meditation, spirit work, or dream time.  Do your research.

Black Kyanite

Another interesting debate came up on the pagan group I'm on, the other week.  What are your thoughts on ripping crystals from the earth and does it affect their 'power' from the trauma of the extraction?  There are parts of the world where people are forced to mine these gemstones, living like slaves and being paid pittance.  Most of the time, this is for the high grade gemstones.  The crystals on the market are a bi-product of mining, things they find along the way, things that don't aren't flawless.  Malachite is a bi-product of copper, so you will find tonnes of the stuff around copper mines, just thrown away as slag.  I love malachite, the colours are amazing and it's highly charged like copper.  I think if people mine ethically, pay the locals a good wage and don't exploit them, then I don't see the issues.  You're never going to know 100% what you have in your collection was extracted ethically and if they've lost their power from being torn from the earth, then how come they still buzz in your hand and you're drawn to one stone in a basket of many?  I don't think they have feelings, they are lumps of compressed particles.. get a grip people lol.

Multi Chrysoprase

Chakras
I bumped into a chap who comes to the local moot and we were having a great chat about chakras in the crisp aisle in Morrisons.  I was wearing a lapis luzuli necklace as I had a sore throat and blue is the throat chakra colour.  He picked up my sore throat and started to dry cough, I wasn't coughing but I was dying for a drink as my throat was thick and dry.  I picked up off him, like the top of my head was coming off.  This is all whilst chatting about stuff.  He hadn't shut himself down and he'd been told that you don't close your base and crown chakras. This isn't the first time I've heard this and you know what, that's utter nonsense!  You can't shut down an energy point, you won't die if you do either! Who makes this stuff up?!  I went on to describe to him how to open/chose your chakras (and by that, I mean the main 7) when you want to be open/closed for spirit work.  Think of it like a dimmer switch I told him. When you want to open up, you turn the switch round and the light is brighter, when you want to close down, you dim it right down.  Turning a light off doesn't mean it's broken either or we'd never turn our light bulbs off.  He also said that he couldn't visualise things in meditation.  Imagining an image and visualising it are THE SAME THING. When I sat in circle and we opened and closed our chakras, each time I would visualise it differently, your mind will find a way of relating these things to you.  One week it would be a spinning coloured ball, another it would be a big bubble, or my fav would be sitting in a big coloured flower and the petals open/closing around me.

Aha! Another flash of inspiration...  a flower opens in the morning light and follows the sun. It closes at night. It does this every day.... and doesn't die does it?  So closing your crown and base charkas won't kill you.  You can't keep them spinning madly whilst the others are dimmed cos you will be totally imbalanced and like my friend, have headaches, unwanted spirit attention and at the other end, your over active base, governs your bum and down.  If you're having issues below the waist, dowse your base chakra and I'll bet that it's off balance.

Keywords here would be: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING SOMEONE WRITES IN A BOOK. It is after all their opinion and most of the time, they are fluffy and don't know what they are on about. Don't read their words as fact and base your practises on them.  I've been there and done that... take everything with a pinch of salt and question everything.  You will know in your gut if it's true for you or not. Go with your gut always.

Righto then... I have another two blogs to pen later but first, I'm off to circle, which I've not been to for weeks for a variety of reasons.  As I said to my friend earlier, I can't write about these things if I'm not practicing them!

C is for Clairvoyance

Minsden Chapel

I was in bed, trying to get to sleep but you know how your mind spins and you try and clear your mind but nope, it's not going to let you get to sleep. Then I started coughing. How annoying, especially as I didn't have a cough before I tried to get to sleep.  So I got up and got a note pad with the intention of writing my thoughts down.  I wrote three lines. Then I thought 'I know, I'll make a video blog' and got my son's tablet, which then turned out, didn't have a video function. So I made it using my iPhone, not at all flattering and the picture quality is pants but you can hear me. Incidentally, the cough went as soon as I'd finished. Hmmm!

I realised afterwards that I'd gotten some dates wrong. I don't know what it is about me and time but when I try and recall things and the date they happened, I can't.  Usually I try and gauge how old my son was when it happened and that usually gives me a good idea what year it was. Seriously! Lorna fell out with me prior to 2002, so I can't have gone with her to Wales in 2003-4.  Luckily I take lots of photographs and I can check the dates, only the Anglesey pics were pre-digital camera, so without going through hundreds of negatives, I can only approximate the dates to when I was still living in my flat, so 1999-2001. How pants is that?! The Petre Ifan trip with my first visit to Stonehenge and Silbury Hill was in 2004 but just me and my son visiting our friend Red in Tenby.

That is the result from a lot of personal trauma that has blocked out so much good information. I remember all the bad but only get flashbacks of normal things I did as a kid or teenager or pre 2002.  You don't need to know the ins and outs of it but it defined me for a time, I think 12 years on, I'm finally working my way through it all.   Anyway, the video is about 40 mins of me having an honest chat about my beginnings with finding my clairvoyance abilities and the person who was a very important part of that. It's also a look at how hurt can create hate and what a waste of time that is.  I do regret that Lorna and I never made amends before she died, but I do believe she has since, as I describe in the video. So here's me, saying thanks Lorna. I still remember the hurt but I now remember so much more of our time together as friends. RIP.

Lorna Summer 2000