Past Lives

week 32

Past Lives

I've touched on this in my other blogs..... and I've done my usual by starting a blog and then not going back to it for three weeks.  Then *POW* I have to start writing... so here goes.

I speak as someone who believes in past lives, I was part of the spiritualist church years ago and I have been to development circle to learn how to attune myself and decipher spirit's communication.  So being a clairvoyant, I believe and know that the energy that is our 'soul' goes on after our mortal body has perished.  This is the place that I am writing from.

It's always been trendy to make claims of being some big shot in your past life. I think that when you have learnt what your past lives were, that they are highly personal to YOU.  They shouldn't be worn as a badge and they don't give you any special powers. If anything, bleating about them, makes you look silly.  Our spiritual path is a personal one and one we should share with trusted people only. Otherwise, those people you share with, can use that information against you... and they do.  Sadly, that is the world we live in. It gives me no pleasure telling you that. I have told people about my spiritual path, people I thought I could trust and when they fell out with me, they then told everyone, like it's some kind of trophy to wave about. Hive minds of resentment and jealousy..... so please take care with whom you share your soul with.

OK, so back to past lives. There are going to be readers who tell you that you were some important person, they may be correct but take into consideration that many are charlatans, charging you for the privilege of making up stories about your former selves.  There is no way of proving what they are telling you is true or not because effectively, it's made up.  How you 'know' is by gut feeling, if what they tell you feels true, you will feel it, maybe all your hairs will stand on end, or you'll get a shiver or whatever your spirit trigger is. Ideally, you need to learn how to find for yourself, what you were and when.  There are books and Cd's you can read and listen too.  Some are bollox, some are good. Go on recommendations.  Mainly it is done by meditation, opening yourself and looking in to a mirror (not an actual mirror but visualise it in your meditation) and seeing your other lives reflect back at you.  You will feel akin to certain things.  You will go to places you have never been to but it feels like you know the place.  You will be drawn to certain people.

One day (15 years ago) I was lying on the bed talking to my friend Lorna (RIP) on the phone. I had a crystal on my forehead and we was nattering away. I became aware of a spirit guide in my room. I couldn't physically see him but I could SEE him in my mind.  He told me his name and that we'd walked the Songlines in a past life. I had carried on being reborn but he stayed behind.  Clear as day. I have no way of checking whether if any of it's true and yet, I know, in my bones, that it is.

Try explaining this to a non-spiritual person and they look at you funny. I've known a High Priestess argue with me about spirits existing at all, and yet she worked with energies.  Everyone has their own beliefs, everyone has a reason for those beliefs.  Everyone has to come to this on their own wind, it cannot be forced and some will never 'get it'.

What does it mean? 
I always say, it's not what you were in a past life, it's what you are in THIS life.  Past life knowledge will leak into your life now, you may find yourself knowing things you've not been taught or seen done before.  Whilst it's great knowing some of the types of people I have been over the millenia, it doesn't really give me any clout in this current existence.  I understand myself a bit better too.  It's personal for each person.

Not knowing your past lives, doesn't make you a lesser pagan/spiritual person. Don't force it. Your spirit guides can help you find those old paths, that lead to the one your soul walks now.  You aren't a failure if you don't know... so enjoy the walk and remember that most people who brag about their past lives, are bellends.  If you really want to know and you cannot find the answers yourself, find a good medium, one that's recommended by friends. Before you sit there and open yourself up to that stranger, ask questions, find out what they can do and whether they are the right person to help you on that journey.

Wash, rinse and repeat
I will add this though. You do carry luggage through the lives.  A few years ago I was having a clairvoyant reading with Richard Twiceborn (RIP), who told me that I was carrying a great deal of anger and my soul wanted vengeance for what had happened to me. I had been a cunning man and the church was pissed off that the people came to me for healing and guidance and not the clergy. So they had me killed. For 1500 years my soul was seeking vengeance on these soldiers who'd killed me. I was told that they had long gone and it was something that would eat me up if I didn't shed it. It wasn't mine (from this life) and it needed to go.  I asked how to do this and he kindly offered to clear it for me. He said that it would hurt me more than him.... every hair stood up on my body, shivers down my back, warmth and the sensation of being lifted inside.  At this precise moment, my son who'd been playing outside with my friend, fell off a wall and cut his head open, blood everywhere.  What hurts me, hurts him... have you seen the Bruce Lee story? Bruce carries his dad's 'demons' with him as his dad failed to deal with them, Bruce passed them on to his son Brandon.  We all know how that ended.. Bruce died very young and Brandon was killed on the set of The Crow.  This is an old Chinese ideology and one I feel is true.  So when that thing left me, it left my son too. My friend ran up and told me my son was hurt and I ended up going to the hospital in an ambulance and getting his head glued. He now has a great Harry Potter like scar, which he thought was great at the time cos he loved Harry Potter and used to run around the Halloweenfest (London) with a cloak and wand.  Feels like forever ago now..

Lessons
It is said that you are given the same lesson in each lifetime to learn, once you have learnt it, you are given another. Some live a whole lifetime not learning that lesson and go on to repeat it in the next life. If you are delving into your past lives, it's more than finding out who you were, it's what you were and finding patterns and picking up the thread and unravelling that lesson.  Do you have the courage to look in to that mirror and see, really see what is there?

And this is without even going into reincarnation and karma! Tread carefully on this path. Be well /|\

Owl

Week 29

OWL

Animal and human spirit guides come and go depending on where you are on your journey through life and what you need at that time.  One of the animals that seems to be working with me at the moment is owl, specifically Barn Owls.  When you are drawn to something over and over again, you have to stop and wonder why.  So I dug out my *medicine cards and read up on Owl.

Owl is 'deception'. Associated with clairvoyance, astral projection and magic (dark/light), owl sees what is really there and cannot be deceived.  A deadly hunter that flies silently, thanks to it's amazing feathers that literally absorb sound. Their prey really don't know what's coming until it hits them.

Owl has always been associated with wisdom and you must remember the little clockwork owl in Clash of the Titans.  Athena was the Greek goddess of wisdom and her owl is said to have revealed unseen truths to her and lit up her dark side so she could truly see all around.  You know about their impressive head rotation, they really do see all the way around.  If you can see it all, you can be furnished with the whole truth and speak the whole truth.  This scares people apparently as you can see through people's ulterior motives and call them out on them.

The card says that* "if you've pulled the Owl card, you are being asked to use your powers of keen, silent observation to intuit some life situation.  Owl is befriending you and aiding you in seeing the total truth. Owl can bring you messages in the night through dreams or meditation. Pay attention to the signals and omens. The Truth always brings further enlightenment."  Going on my current situation, I can certainly see why Owl is around.

Interestingly, Native American stories, which these Medicine cards are based on, have contradicting views on Owls. Owl is a harrbringer of death, so to see or hear one means there will be a death.  So I had a look into this a bit more and found a really interesting article on it.  America is a big place and there were many Indian nations, most share the same viewpoint about owls - they were either feared or embraced.

Read this great article by someone who's gleamed this knowledge from many tribal elders over the years.

I found the remains of a barn owl in 2010 in the woods. I have two wings and a foot that I have been storing, ready to turn into a smudge fan and other craft tools, for my use.  Maybe Owl is reminding me to get a move on with it, four years is long enough to dry out.

Kyle is an amazing wildlife photographer, check his website out

Empathy

Week 10

Two blogs in one night and the last one was really emotional.  So here goes a hopefully shorter blog! (bet it's not lol)

empathy

According to the Oxford dictionary

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Wikipedia

Empathy has many different definitions that encompass a broad range of emotional states, such as caring for other people and having a desire to help them; experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions; discerning what another person is thinking or feeling; and making less distinct the differences between the self and the other.[6]

Since empathy involves understanding the emotional states of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If, for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy. On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by a combination of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process. However, the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate[7] and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained[8] and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.

Empathy necessarily has a "more or less" quality. The paradigm case of an empathic interaction, however, involves a person communicating an accurate recognition of the significance of another person's ongoing intentional actions, associated emotional states, and personal characteristics in a manner that the recognized person can tolerate. Recognitions that are both accurate and tolerable are central features of empathy.[9][10]

The human capacity to recognize the bodily feelings of another is related to one's imitative capacities and seems to be grounded in an innate capacity to associate the bodily movements and facial expressions one sees in another with the proprioceptive feelings of producing those corresponding movements or expressions oneself.[11] Humans seem to make the same immediate connection between the tone of voice and other vocal expressions and inner feeling.

Empathy is distinct from sympathy, pity, and emotional contagion.[12] Sympathy or empathic concern is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help as they cannot fix their problems themselves, often described as "feeling sorry" for someone. Emotional contagion is when a person (especially an infant or a member of a mob) imitatively "catches" the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.[13]

Why am I quoting dictionaries? Because the word empathy is used in the spiritual circles to mean something very different.  I've had this discussion with a friend before and it got a little heated.  This word is now used to mean those who can psychically pick up another's feelings, emotions and  intent. Like Deanna Troy from Star Trek Next Generation.  Deanna was half Batazoid and they are telepathic, so she could hone in on someone and pick up their impressions from them.  They called her an 'empath'.  Now everyone is using this word and it raises my hackles a bit.  Probably for the same reason why the way the word shaman is banded about... but that's another blog and oh boy, will that be an epic soapbox rant!

You are not an EMPATH. You are feeling empathic (which most humans are capable of) and a jolly good thing it is too, to be able to empathise with someone.  It's very different to sympathy and pity too, as it says in the descriptors above.  Having the ability to be able to empathise with people, to help them by relating to their woes, is a gift in itself.  I use this when I do tarot readings or having a heart to heart with someone. I relate things that have happened to me, to help people understand that they can face similar problems and get through it.

If you have that extra ability to pick emotions up, you are not an empath, you are clairsentient.

the ability for a person to acquire psychic knowledge by means of feeling

Now there's three types of spirit communication. Clairvoyance - to see; clairaudiance - to hear, and clairsentient - to feel.  Derived from French 'Clair' meaning 'clear', 'voyance' meaning 'vision' etc etc. It's also considered a type of ESP.  What it is, is not the normal run of the mill empathy. Most humans can show empathy, I say most, those with conditions such as Aspergers Syndrome have difficulties and I'm sure there's other conditions that remove this ability or reduce it.  Then there are people who really have it in abundance... that's not 'normal', that's clairsentience.

Why does it matter I hear you cry? Because it does. The same way that not everyone who practices witchcraft is Wiccian.  Like those who practice wicca aren't all initiated Wiccians (note the capital letter), like people who say they are a druid and haven't done the 21 years and people who do some drumming and think it's shamanic........... it does matter.  If you are going to openly declare your psychic/spiritual abilities then get it RIGHT or you end up looking daft.  And the forums will rip you apart, what with all that love and peace floating about lol.

That said, I do concede that the term 'empathic' is used beyond it's original meaning.  Star Trek Next Generation (which I'm a fan of) is 17 years old now.  Think about it... when did the new age lot start using the word 'empath' - bet it was after Deanna Troy came on our screens.

Meanings aside, the ability of clairsentience is one I have in abundance.  This is when you really need to learn how to not walk around the supermarket 'wide open' like I have done.  One time I was in Morrisons and there was this girl who walked past me, ouzing misery off her, can't blame the poor girl, the crap she was going through was bad.  She walked past me and I felt horrible, an empty feeling of pure hopelessness... of despair and pain.  I didn't know the full extent of all the crap she was dealing with until much later and she had every right to feel that way, poor girl.

I read a great article on empathy today that I will share with you. It rings very true with me... give it a read and see whether you tick all the boxes.  If not, that just means you're a run of the mill caring person who gives a shit about others feelings and likes to comfort them.  Nothing wrong with that, if only the world had more people like that in it.

You recall my last blog and I mention about the news? This is a paragraph from the empathy article:

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and may have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

I have What Dreams May Come on video.. I've had it since it came out and I've still not watched it because I know it will ruin me.  The Notebook... omg, beautiful film but the ending!  I'm sure other's got their hankies out but I reckon I used the whole loo roll.  And that's what it's like for me.. even though they are actors, in a film, I get over emotional and then it rattles around my head endlessly. I try not to watch them too often and in the case of What dreams may come... I have put it off for over a decade. I think that's cos Lorna said it was a sad film, she's in spirit now, I keep looking at it on the shelf and thinking of her, so I think I'll give it a watch this week.  Maybe.

The news slays me. Another thing I pick up is when I stop to help at road accidents. I pick up the panic, the shock and I feel myself choking down their emotions, tears prick my eyes and I have to tell myself to sort myself out so I can help the people (first aid, moving traffic before emergency services arrive).  I think that's why I never ventured in to the medical profession or the police, I'm too vulnerable.  I am hoping to start a carer in caring for the disabled, I like helping people, I like using my abilities to put people at ease, to heal.

Anyways, it's 4.40am, that's two blogs in three hours and my knees are telling me it's time to get off the chair.

So there you go... being an empath/clairsentient doesn't mean you are telepathic.. that's another thing entirely. I love sci-fi as much as the next person but don't confuse it with real life... that's how scientology etc got started!

Please don't be offended by my passion... that's just who I am.... like Marmite (vegemite sucks!)

Aha! Just spotted this paragraph in the empathy article... how bloody true!

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. Then again, for empaths, it is always nice to actually be heard themselves!

Energy healing

Sorry this is late.  I've been out of commission these last couple of weeks due to having the operation on my knees. Sitting at the computer was too painful. Still hurts a bit now but when you have to write, you have to write. So here's a very late E.

E is for... energy healing

I am a healer. I can't remember exactly when I discovered this but it's been for most of my life. I trained with the SNU church for a couple of years and they have a certain way of doing things. I was told you weren't allowed to give clairvoyance during healing. They also wanted you to work through the chakras. I soon realised that this is not how I work.

I'm not sure if this is the correct term, but I am a visual healer. That means that I am drawn to a certain area that needs healing.  Whilst healing after a Sunday service at the SNU church, the young woman was sitting down with her eyes closed. I had my hands hoovering over her sides when I was drawn to her stomach (sacral) area.  I could see nodules on her ovaries and I received some other information about babies and a miscarriage. So I gave it to her gently.. and you do have to be gentle when passing on sensitive information like loss. She confirmed she had polycystic ovaries and validated the other things I'd said.  She was genuinely surprised as it was her first time at the church and it had been things she'd been thinking of that day, an anniversary was coming up and it was playing on her mind.

Generally, this is how I work.  My hands heat up, my eyes 'find' the area that needs healing and I either go hands on or hoover above.  I like to test people too.  I ask them to close their eyes and tell me where they think my hands are. I hoover my hands at least 4 inches over them and every single time, they've been able to tell me where my hands are. Energy is felt.  I am the vessel channeling this energy through me and into them. I don't know how I do it, I just know that it happens. How would I describe what it feels like? Hmmm, that's a toughie. My eyes are closed, images come from the darkness behind my eyes.  I get a sense of something, it's probably spirit giving information, I can't give 'platform' clairvoyance yet.  My hands tingle. I imagine the energy passing into them, washing away the negative energy from that area and then imagine it drawn down into the earth and dispersed.  I'm usually in an altered state when I do healing.  It kinda just switches on. I give my hands a good shake and wipe off anything I've drawn out.  I read Betty Shine's books years ago and love her way of describing healing.  It was before I'd got the internet and when I did get online and looked her up, she'd sadly passed a year before.  When I read her website and all the words of condolence, I bawled, it really had felt like I had known her through her books.  I definitely recommend reading her books to anyone who's doing healing or clairvoyance. It's so simply written and honest. Would you look at that... she passed away on the 26th March 2002, which is tomorrow..blimey 12 years already.

Remote healing is just as valid as 'hands on'.  With the invention of the internet, first their came msn groups and forums. I remember being on Spiritualists Open Circle and doing remote healing for members in the group.  Private messaging giving readings.  People dismiss the ability to give readings over the phone or electronically but some of the best ones I've done have been this way.

Oh yeah, the healer always needs healing themselves, usually too busy helping others, than helping themselves.  It is important to not to give too much of yourself or you end up drained, ill and taking on the person's ailments.

The news

I don't know about you but watching all the terrible things in this world, does me in.  If there is a missing person or there's an accident, I will know if they are alive or dead.  Quite simply, I get an almighty chill through my body.  This also applies to friends on my Facebook who post up about a friend or family member that is ill or been in an accident. If I go cold, I know that they will pass over soon.  Of course, you can't tell people this because it's not the right thing to do.  In those cases, I will light a candle and send them healing to accept the transition and pass over peacefully with minimal pain.  Nothing wrong with hope.  In other cases where they are ill/injured and I don't go cold, I will comment positively and light the candle and send them some zapp.  I have only been proven wrong once (so far) and that was when my friend Doro was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  I went cold. I cried and cried, such a lovely person and I didn't want her to die.  A group of us did remote healing once a week at a certain time and I sent her everything I had, as did others. I even got my drum off the wall and tranced out on the gentle beat.  I had given her 18 months but that was 5 or 6 years ago now.  Her condition was very serious, when I say she was told she would have to have a hysterectomy and then when they went to do it, realised the cancer had spread too far, they wouldn't do it. She had radiotherapy (that left her with a host of digestive issues) and was also self-medicating with homeopathy. I truly believe that the combination of her treatment, her positive attitude and our healing, she not only beat her cancer but was totally clear of it. She has been given the all clear for these last 5 years, something the doctors are still baffled by.

I have in the past, been able to predict when a missing person has died and some times even been given information about how.  It's not like you can broadcast this stuff, so when your prediction is proved correct, so I write it down and tell a friend about it and then pray I'm wrong, I don't like being right about this stuff. I could give examples but I really don't want it to look like I'm blowing my own trumpet here because that's the furthest from what I'm trying to do.  There's some high profile cases that I have been right about and I'll happily tell you about them in person but it seems wrong to publish it on a blog.  But I will share this one with you.

Joanne

It was 2005, a young woman called Joanne had gone missing around Valentines day. Her boyfriend was on the news begging her to come home.  I went cold and then I was visited by her.  I had never encountered this kind of thing before. I didn't know what to do. She wouldn't leave me alone. She kept showing me things and wanted me to contact the police about her case. I must have spent a week crying from the grief and how distraught this spirit was in.  So I did it, I rang the police force dealing with the case. Ever done that? Ever rang up and given information from spirit to the police before? OMG! It went something like this: 'Hi, I need to speak to the team dealing with the case of the missing woman from Hull. Please don't think I'm a nutter because I've never done this before but this woman won't leave me alone. She's told me that there's a big bin behind a restaurant, something like New Hong Kong and there's stuff inside that he's hidden, a rug I think. He boyfriend has killed her, he's a big CSI fan, he thinks he knows forensics and got away with it. Her body is in a shallow dell, there's water and she's covered in leaves. She hasn't told me where, that's all. Please don't think I'm crazy' and the whole time crying.  Horrible horrible horrible and even now, I'm welling up at the memory.  The officer was nice about it, she said thanks, took my details and I never heard anything from them.  The woman left me after I'd made the call, I asked my guides to come down and help her cross over.

I was living in Letchworth in 2005. This woman had lived in Hull. I moved to Yorkshire 3 years ago. Last year, I suddenly started thinking about her and what had happened.  So I Googled it. Every hair stood up and I was in tears again.  I found the news report of when they had found her body. It was in a location that was very much like I had described.  I want to go to those woods... I need to finish the job, I don't think she's at rest.  He had stopped for fuel with her body in the boot of his car at my (now) local petrol station! Her body was found a few miles from where I now live!  Whilst typing this up, I had a quick search for the story so I could link it and found some things that bought it all back.  It seems that the information I passed on was accurate.  I can't say why she came to me in the first place but it freaked me out enough for me to 'shelve' myself until I was ready to deal with it.  It's a big responsibility and I wasn't ready for it.

Source:

Back inside his house he used string to tie together the hands and feet of the lifeless Joanne. He then bundled her body into bin liner bags and secured them with tape."
Dyson drove from Hull to Howden to fill up with petrol and from there took the body 75 miles away, to isolated woodland near Hovingham in North Yorkshire, where he carried her body around 250 yards until he found a concealed dip in the pine trees.

Other links to the story.
Daily Mail      Telegraph       BBC    Mirror   Guardian

I really feel the urge to find out more, to go to the place she was buried and see what else needs to be done. She did after all, chose me to pass on the message.  I didn't realise until this moment, what that meant and I'm honoured that my light reached out to her. RIP Joanne x

Another thing I just realised. There's the same age difference between her and her killer boyfriend as there was between me and my ex.  My ex was a psycho and abusive too.  He also also into martial arts, body building and thought he was a big hard man.  She even has the same coloured hair as me.... maybe that's why she chose me............ oh man, that really has got me thinking now =o((

Death

It is a subject that has kept cropping up this last week and last night, a beautiful old lady died at the age of 110.  Maybe my blog was late because I needed her words to inspire me.  Who knows.

The one thing certain in life is that you are going to die.  Morbid? Not really, it is a reality. I have found this last year, I have been very conscious of my own mortality and are times when I constantly think about me dying and what I'm leaving behind.  It's not constructive or healthy but it is natural considering I am going through the grieving process.

I lost my estranged brother to cancer last March. I also lost my ex-best friend Lorna to a heart attack. I lost a brother Knight Ghyll to cancer. I lost a friend and colleague Gail to a bike crash. The one year old boy called Ryan who I'd been sending healing to, died of the same cancer my brother did and another biker mate Tom died of pneumonia. All within a couple of months.  By July, I was a total mess. I was laying on the table at my osteopaths (he is also a reiki master and acupuncturist and clairvoyant) and he was sorting out my knees with acupuncture and talking about why I was upset.  He asked me why it was that I believed in the after life and spirit contact but was upset about death.  I replied that it wasn't the dying, it was what I left behind that upset me.  What would happen to my son, my home, my possessions, my cats... what would people say at the funeral, to my son, who'd raise him, would me cats be put in homes .... you get the idea. The thought of all of this ate me up inside.

As time has gone on, this fear has eased off but it's still there. Depression amplifies this fear and I'm up and down with that due to my current physical state. I'm due to have general anaesthetic next month for an operation on my knees. I have been sedated before but not totally under, that deep sleep could be a wonderful thing where I travel or it could be the death of me. I think it's the thought of the needles that's doing me in the most and the loss of control over my body.  So now getting my Will in order and going to do a video telling people what I want/don't want at my funeral.  In a non-morbid way, I've been planning my funeral music for years... music is such a big part of my life and when I've been to others funerals, the music played at them represented who they were.

I think it would be a good idea to make sure your family and friends know what you want to happen with your remains, the sort of funeral you want and what you represent. I've been to too many where the funeral was the last thing that person would have wanted and it was more what their family wanted. That's not right.

Yesterday the oldest survivor of the concentration camps died aged 110.  You may have seen her on documentaries about people living active lifestyles well past their 100th year. Alice was the lady who played the piano. Her music kept the spirits up in those retched places and gave some hope to those who had none. She continued to play until the day she died. It will be easier for me to copy and paste the news article about her life. It's worth sharing.

"I think I am in my last days but it does not really matter because I have had such a beautiful life.

"And life is beautiful, love is beautiful, nature and music are beautiful. Everything we experience is a gift, a present we should cherish and pass on to those we love."

Ms Herz-Sommer recalled "always laughing" during her time in Terezin, where she and other inmates put on occasional concerts.

She said the joy of making music had kept their spirits up.

"These concerts, the people are sitting there, old people, desolate and ill, and they came to the concerts and this music was for them our food. Music was our food. Through making music we were kept alive."

Life IS beautiful. Love IS beautiful. Nature and music ARE beautiful. She never lost sight of this and this resonates with me hugely.  I see the beauty in everything around me... even when I'm low.  So thank you Alice for reminding me that inspite of the horrors you face, life can be good.  What an inspirational, beautiful person.  Rest in peace, you've earned it x

Naked trees

Bare blue skies

Last years leaves

Litter the ground

Cold winds blow

A mighty chill

Rain turns to snow

The sun climbs higher

Daffodils and crocus

Snowdrops and catkins

Life has burst thru

The cold hard earth

Life is imminent

It's waiting to bloom

Green shoots and colours

Birds return home

Colder weather will come

Life still breaks thru

Defying frozen death

Under frost and snow

New life breaks thru

Winters death begins to wane

Sunny days and blue skies

Wake us up within

New life in Springtime

The lambing season not far

Cold winds may blow

Spring has been announced

written by me =o))

Edited to add that, life is about death. As a pagan, you observe the season changes.. when the world is reborn (spring), when it feeds us (summer) when we harvest (autumn) and when the world dies (winter). It's all about life and death cycles.  For some, death is just the next big adventure. Every culture, faith and religion in all corners of the world has their own version of what happens when you die, where you go and what you do.  As a medium, I know spirit goes on... death is only a transition. But by gods, it's a painful one, especially for those left behind.  As a healer, I try to make the transition as peaceful as possible but that's another story.  Thanks for reading x

C is for Clairvoyance

Minsden Chapel

I was in bed, trying to get to sleep but you know how your mind spins and you try and clear your mind but nope, it's not going to let you get to sleep. Then I started coughing. How annoying, especially as I didn't have a cough before I tried to get to sleep.  So I got up and got a note pad with the intention of writing my thoughts down.  I wrote three lines. Then I thought 'I know, I'll make a video blog' and got my son's tablet, which then turned out, didn't have a video function. So I made it using my iPhone, not at all flattering and the picture quality is pants but you can hear me. Incidentally, the cough went as soon as I'd finished. Hmmm!

I realised afterwards that I'd gotten some dates wrong. I don't know what it is about me and time but when I try and recall things and the date they happened, I can't.  Usually I try and gauge how old my son was when it happened and that usually gives me a good idea what year it was. Seriously! Lorna fell out with me prior to 2002, so I can't have gone with her to Wales in 2003-4.  Luckily I take lots of photographs and I can check the dates, only the Anglesey pics were pre-digital camera, so without going through hundreds of negatives, I can only approximate the dates to when I was still living in my flat, so 1999-2001. How pants is that?! The Petre Ifan trip with my first visit to Stonehenge and Silbury Hill was in 2004 but just me and my son visiting our friend Red in Tenby.

That is the result from a lot of personal trauma that has blocked out so much good information. I remember all the bad but only get flashbacks of normal things I did as a kid or teenager or pre 2002.  You don't need to know the ins and outs of it but it defined me for a time, I think 12 years on, I'm finally working my way through it all.   Anyway, the video is about 40 mins of me having an honest chat about my beginnings with finding my clairvoyance abilities and the person who was a very important part of that. It's also a look at how hurt can create hate and what a waste of time that is.  I do regret that Lorna and I never made amends before she died, but I do believe she has since, as I describe in the video. So here's me, saying thanks Lorna. I still remember the hurt but I now remember so much more of our time together as friends. RIP.

Lorna Summer 2000