Weddings

Week 46

Weddings

Or as they are known in pagan circles - handfastings.  I have attended many handfastings over the years and not one of them has been the same.  Even though many of the couples were druid or wiccan, their ceremonies were very different from each others.  The one thing that was evident in all of them, is love and honouring nature as part of their ceremony.

It is said that the origins of the term 'tying the knot' derives from when the couple are bound together during the ceremony.  Handfastings are a year and a day or life. Our current marriage laws says you cannot divorce until you have been married for a year and a day.  Even though our marriage ceremonies and laws in the UK are based on the old ways, handfasting is not a legally binding marriage.  If you want to be married in the eyes of the law, you need to perform the ceremony again at a registrars or have an officiating person at a registered location, like many hotels now do.

I have never been married, I've not been asked since I was 16, which was a very long time ago now. I have often thought about how I'd like my ceremony to be and where.  It would be nice to have it at a stone circle or sacred place and then feast afterwards.  A proper wedding feast, with roasting meat, a big fire pit, big cheese wheels, fresh baked bread and simple foods. Traditionally brewed ales, meads and ciders... it's all good lol.  No white dress for me! Me in a dress actually, excuse me while I throw back my head and say hahahahahahahahahahaahhaha! Who knows, it might happen, just like someone may want to marry me one day. Meh.

Anyway... back to handfastings. I like the idea of doing this rather than the official route. I like the idea that if it doesn't work out, you can just untie the knot and go your separate ways. Willie Nelson jokes 'why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!' I would hate to spend thousands on a plush wedding for the whole reason of the celebration to be marred by pressure of organising it. I've photographed a few weddings and handfastings over the years and I keep in touch with many of the couples. Most are still together but some fell out spectacularly.  I feel sad when I look back at these wonderful celebrations and remember the love shared, the love I captured on camera, and it's gone.

I'm a biker too, so a simple ceremony and a big feast really appeals to me.  I never have been one for pomp and ceremony. Below are a collection of images that I have taken, of handfastings.  Enjoy.

Summer solstice 2007 at Avebury. Most in attendance were druidic. Bard recital and jumping of the broom.  Sadly, they are no longer together but it was a spectacular and wonderful day.

Summer solstice weekend 2007 at Avebury. God/Goddess walk, which met and formed a staff arch, which the bride and groom walked through.

Always makes me feel sad when I see pics of Ghyll, RIP mate

A poem I wrote in their wedding album I created:

In the core of our souls

Our love spirals around

The trees and stones witness

Our ancient pledge to the land

With friends and kin present

With the Warband did raise

Their hearts and love to us both

Stepping through the arch of staves

Our hearts and soul unite

As our King binds us both

Hand to hand, heart to heart

Forever betrothed 

Random Avebury handfastings, after the Gorsedd, multiple couples

August 2007, Windmill Hill, Avebury. Already married, they renewed their vows with this handfasting ceremony. Most of them were druids, very different to other ceremonies I'd been too. Conducted at dusk, the light quickly faded, which made for some lowlight images.

God walk at sundown

My son with his twin friends

 

I was invited to attend a handfasting of a couple at a farm in Cumbria. My archdruid friend was conducting the ceremony.  The celebration leaned more towards the traditional wedding with a big wig wam tent, tables of wedding food and lots of family and friends in formal dress.

Hog roast wins every day!

Castlerigg 2007 - one of my favourite stone circles, with two of my favourite people.

RIP Fintan

Winter solstice 2009 at Avebury. Mostly druids but a heavy wiccan influence. Sadly, these two aren't together anymore and Ghyll passed over last year.

New age pantomime druids

week 27

NEW AGE PANTOMIME DRUIDS (NAPD)

A friend of mine was called this. He's not a druid, not sure he's even pagan. But he is a well learned individual and someone whom I respect a lot. It is now a term I use to describe the new flux of fuckwits that have flocked to our stone circles and have all the gear and no idea.  AKA Plastic Druids.

Druidry
I'm not a druid, lets get that fact out there. However, I've been knocking about with a few over the last decade and think I've had a good taster of what kind of people are out there calling themselves druids. I've stood in circle and been part of druid ceremonies.  It's alright and we share the same ideals in many areas of our paths.  But I'm not a druid and have no aspirations to become one.

As far as I'm aware, and I could be wrong (it's been known to happen), you start as a Bard, then Ovate, then after 21 years of learning, you can call yourself a Druid.  There are courses out there that can teach you about plants and all those kinds of things and some are legit and some are ripped off copies from the Internet and then sold as their own work. Plagiarism at it's finest. I hear many good things about the OBOD course from friends who are doing it.  My issue is with those who decide one day to be a druid. They buy the robes, create themselves a title and Order and then go out in to the world with the 'love and light' mentality and a shit load of glamour.  People are sucked in to their void and get ripped off.  I was contacted by a lady who had a friend who was going to spend £1200 on a course from once such NAPD.  He had only donned the robes a year earlier and yet, here he was selling 'knowledge and learning' that he hadn't obtained himself but ripped off the world wide web.  This was a genuinely nice lady and would have been £1200+ poorer if I hadn't spoken out.

I'm sure this applies to many other new age paths - New Age Pantomime Witch/Heathen/Shaman (don't get me started!!) etc etc etc.  There's always some nob out there, puffing out their chest, blowing hot air and smoke up your arse that they are the best thing since sliced bread and their way is the ONLY way.  And people get sucked in, they cannot see the bullshit invading them - glamour.  Our community seems to be blinded from seeing these people and there's more than a handful.

These so-called druids create disharmony. I've seen it countless times. They start a new group up. They get new members. There's old petty arguments that surface, then everyone gets involved and it's all out bitchcraft. This spills over in to other groups and infects everyone around it. That group then splits off and creates a new one, a new Order and more titles.  It's an endless cycle of egotesticle wankybollox - it's a fucking pantomime!  People I have been friends with have stopped being a friend on the back of these group splits. It's no wonder people sit on the fence and 'won't get involved' because it happens all the time. I know people who have completely walked away from the pagan 'scene' because of all the bitchcraft.  People I loved spending time with around the fire, drinking mead and wotnot and talking about putting the world to rights.  Those people are good people and the poison pushed them out.

New age pantomime druids - it's the latest fad in paganism. The 'I'm a shaman because I beat a drum and chant and use crystals' craze thankfully seems to be on it's way out... for now!

The point I'm making?  If you decide one day after much thought, to be a druid - great, go for it!  Deciding one day to dress up, get a sword, a staff, grow a beard/hair, wear robes and say 'namaste' all the time does NOT make you a druid.  It makes you a playgan. The same applies to so many different paths.  Granted, noobs all make that mistake (I'm fairly sure I did) and with some gentle guidance and pointing them in the direction of some good solid information, they can walk up their path with more confidence.

WALK YOUR TALK PEOPLE!

As always, I did a little research during this blog and thought you'd like to read these.  No path but your own, you decide how you want to learn.. just learn not to be a gullible muppet parting with lots of money without doing some research of the person selling 'their wisdom'.

OBOD
Druid Network
CoBDO
Guardian article