B is for bloody Facebook, Bipolar & Bitchcraft (kinda)

Yes... bloody Facebook!

It's now Monday, my blogs have until now, been promptly done by Friday, usually in the very early hours.  I don't know what happened this time but I blame Facebook for sucking me into it's virtual world of friends, groups, managing pages and just being addicted to the interactions.  Yep, my name is Naomi and I'm a addicted to Facebook.  And now it's Tuesday. I was in mid blog when I was reminded via my phone alert, that it was my moot tonight.  How pants am I?!  Forgot what bloody day it was, sheesh!

Where was I? Oh yes... bloody Facebook. Before it was Myspace and forums and now it's Facebook. Not really got the Google+ thing, yet, although I have a profile, never used it.

My life seems to revolve around the cyberworld. I spend far too much time networking for the people I work for to get their deeds out there into cyberland.  99% of this is on Facebook.  You have the best intentions of 'just checking a page' and then before you know it, 6 hours have gone by.  I'm addicted to the interaction from faraway friends.  People I knew off forums from the last decade, people on the other side of the world whom I've never met, people I have never met but who are in my 'circles'. I spent so much time on the forums, which is where some of you may know me from. It's been 3 years or so since I went on the pagan forums, can't be bothered with the Bitchcraft. Funnily enough, that was another B I was going to blog about.  I think the Arsehole blog from week one from a fellow Pagan Blog Project summed it up without me having to add anything really, well I could but there'd be lots of swearing. Read it, it's good!

Whilst it's great to connect with my friends and have a laugh at the stupid shit people post up, it's not the same as getting into the real world. And when we do, what do we do? That's right, we take a picture of it and upload it to......... Facebook! We check in to places, we tag our friends in pictures and whilst we are all doing that, we aren't really where we really are - THE REAL WORLD.

The Matrix is on the tv behind me... bit ironic really.

I'm a nightowl, always have been. It's 3am as I type this. Yesterday I had a mad clean til 5am, which meant I woke up at lunch time, which means I missed a lot of daylight.  It doesn't help that I do not have paid employment at the moment and I don't HAVE to get up, other than to make sure my 16 year old son is up for school and out the door on time.  At least then, I get to see the sunrise but that's only cos it's winter and that happens at 7.30-8am.  The night time is a magical place, I live in the countryside, so there's only owl hoots and the occasional lorry rumbling past.  But it sucks missing the day, really does. On the plus side in the summer, I get to watch the world get lighter, the explosion of bird song and the sunrise, it's usually then I say 'bugger it's daytime' and go to bed.

I live right next to the River Derwent with loads of lovely walks around me. What do I do all day? Nothing. All that has to change.  I cannot and will not be an internet pagan!  How can I talk about being part of the earth when I stay indoors all the time... what's that about? A rhetorical question. Of course it doesn't help having depression (not a constant state) and the fact I have to have an op soon because I've been diagnosed with arthritis in my knees. This last year has seen me going from being active (but still addicted to FB) to being in quite a lot of pain and some days not being able to climb the stairs.  I'm only 37, it's depressing!  But I am not my illness and I refuse to let it consume me, obviously I'm having a good day today.

Originally I was going to blog about Bipolar.  How is that pagan, you ask? Well with my big network of friends in all walks of pagan life, it occurred to me that there are loads who all suffer from varying degrees of Bipolar Disorder or manic depression as it used to be called.  I have wondered if there is a connection, is it just that they are pagan AND have BPD? Or is it they are more spiritually aware because of their intense down/high times?  Is it cos they walk between the lines of mortality when they are so low they want to end it all?   I'm not sure and I don't know enough to really write about it. No offence is meant of course, just me thinking out loud really.  I've been described as being 'a bit Bipolar' - how can you be a bit Bipolar? I can see it though, I do have extreme ups and downs but most of the time I bounce along.  I would be interested to hear your views on it though.  Not that anyone reads my blog, let alone comments on it!

A lovely FB friend of mine (never met him and not even sure how he came to be on my friends list but he is a talented model and very positive person, with lots of great uplifting status') has just modeled for the MIND calendar.  You may recognise him from Celebrity Juice where he was standing on the desk in front of Danny Dyer - naked.  That fella's been working out.. obviously the link goes to the YouTube clip and Mr Dyer says f*ck a lot and Mark gets naked ... enjoy!

Google is your friend or Bing.. but it's all there at your fingertips - most people when they are in the throes of depression won't reach out or say anything but there is a world of info and help out there. Use it.

Help is out there in internet land for all sorts of disorders, alas nothing for Facebook addiction.

Friday's blog will be on time and about something that I AM.

Peace y'all /|\

If the text is in orange, it's a link - in this blog to MIND website etc