Karma

Week 21

I'm well behind again! I've been chewing this over since my Justice blog. Then this month, something happened to my sister that really set my gears grinding and thinking about Karma. It's only thinking out loud really, I'm just going to put fingers to keyboard and see what happens.... much like my other blogs lol.

What is Karma?

From Sanskrit karman ‘action, effect, fate’.
noun
(in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
informal
good or bad luck, viewed as resulting from one's actions.

I had a look on Google to see what I could find on what Karma is and there's endless popart dedicated to it. There are also Hindu and Buddhist websites that discuss it at length. Karma is very much part of the Buddhist way of life but it does say that Karma predates Buddhist teachings and originate in India. In the Hindu faith, there are three types of Karma. I'm not going into that here, but by all means, go and explore the definitions for yourself.

Keanu is a practicing Buddhist

So. Karma. If you're not Buddhist or Hindu, you pretty much think it's the answer to everything. Someone screws you over? Never mind, Karma will kick their arse. I think there's a bit of a cross over with the ol' three fold law too going on some of the stuff I found in Google images. Karma is seen as payback, as revenge for bad deeds done. It's a term banded about by every Tom, Dick and Harry and I doubt any of them really know what it is.  They just think it's something they can curse at you 'I hope Karma kicks your arse' and the like.  That's not what it's about. Not even remotely. That kind of attitude will only serve to have YOUR arse kicked by Karma for wishing ill right? That kind of attitude isn't a solution to the issues that have arisen.  YOU are responsible for your own actions. YOU are accountable for your own deeds. YOU get what you think you deserve. If you attract wankers in your life, think about why that is?  Sure, there's plenty of times in my life where I've been screwed over by people but I've had to look honestly at my part in that. What did I do to attract them? What lessons did I learn from it? Will I keep having to learn those lessons until it sinks in? Yeah! Cos that's Karma too.

In one script I read, it says about one person being very rich, whilst another suffers poverty. It says that Karma meters out a balance.  It's a nice idea. But lets face it, how many people die every minute from starvation, murder, poverty... ? How many of the rich seem untouchable? If Karma was kicking arse, it would start there right?  Alas that is not the way of this world.

Karma isn't Justice. Karma is Balance. Karma is Universal Law. Karma is Newton's law of Cause and Effect. What Karma isn't, is your bitch.

A warning from my own personal experience. I may have mentioned this in an earlier blog. When I started on this path a decade or so ago, I was told about Karma/three fold law. At this point in my life, I went through more in six months, than most do in two lifetimes. I wanted those people to pay for what they had done to me but I believed that by wishing them ill, it would bounce back to me. I really turned myself inside out with this! I was already in a bad place, but thinking that I'd get more unless I thought fluffy thoughts, made it a whole lot worse, caused a full nervous breakdown.  I firmly believe that if someone has wronged you, that you tell them. If someone harms you, tell them.  It's natural to want that person to suffer what they've done to you. When you do magical workings, you reflect back to the person, what they've done to you, the idea being that they will receive the pain they inflicted upon you.  This is why it's best not to hex people when you're angry and hurting.  You really have to think about it and that takes introspection.

Holding on to past hurts really does eat away at you too. Don't do it. I wish I could heed my own advice but I think I'm better at letting go of things these days, than I was 3 years ago.  A friend once told me 'that guy who just cut you up on the road, the one you're ranting and raving about, the one you're still pissed off about an hour later, he's already forgotten you. Don't hold on to it.'  I'm still not too hot on the forgiveness business. I will let it go, try and put aside the anger and move forward. I never forget though.. which means I've not really forgiven them doesn't it?  I'm still working on that lol.

Karma isn't going to beat the shit out of you for being a wanker. Karma isn't going to give you the winning lotto numbers because you're down on your luck. Karma isn't the answer to your problems. Look inside, you'll find them but you really have to look inside and be HONEST, the only person you'll be lying to, is your self.

Peace y'all

I

Week 18

From a very young age, you develop the sense of 'I', who you are, what makes you an individual. Your character develops and you become your own person. This is before you're walking.  You don't stop developing who you are, as a kid, as a teenager, as a young adult, as a parent - til the day you die. The friends you have, the people you love, the music you enjoy, the places you go... everything is every day changing in who you are.  More so when you're made aware of your spiritual path, be it a religion or spiritual path, it applies to it all.  I can only discuss my own experience of this though.  A bit about where I am now and who I am.

I recall cycling down a hill in town and thinking 'what religion should I follow'. I'd left school (I was about 17), I knew about the main religions and what they get up to, so I went through each one in my head, weighing up the pros and cons and if any of them felt right.  They didn't.  So I wasn't anything. I'd been raised in a Church of England village, went to a CoF school, had been Christened and brainwashed by the school and Brownies to go to church every Sunday, to sing the hymns in class and have a Christian view of the world.  I still think I'm more Christian than those who claim they are lol.. but that's another story.

Anyway..... nothing fit. It wasn't until 1998 that I found spiritualism but it still wasn't quite right. Then a couple of years later, the thing I felt, the thing I believed in was given a name - pagan.  Of course you later find out that it was a derogatory name and was an umbrella term but it was an identity, a place to start on the path. And boy was that path a twisty one!  This was around the time of Charmed, so finding books on the subject of paganism was a tad fluffy and targeted the teenage market.  That was another thing, this became fashionable.  Everyone was suddenly a witch, wearing the jewellery and outfits and claiming ancient heritage - which upset those on those paths. It made a mockery of their journey, or so they cried.

At the time, online forums were the place to go to learn, to meet like-minded people and meet at events. I certainly learned a lot about people! I met some good ones, whom I still keep in touch with and some absolute (insert expletive of your choice here) who still rear their poisonous Hydra heads when you least expect it.  I learnt a lot about myself but most importantly, I learned what I am NOT.  I discussed in my Blue Crow blog about how I found my name and what it meant. I have covered part of this before.  I learnt it was ok not to know where you are going on your path, what you're doing or how to do it. I learned that you don't have to know these things, just let your heart guide you.  I haven't gotten anything out of a book to help me in this way, it's all come from within my self and the world around me.  I learned that in spite of these people out there who will shoot you down, who make themselves out to be some kind of forum-messiah, that they only taught me what I didn't want to be - a know-it-all fuckwit.  In hindsight, and it is in hindsight because I beat myself up about 'why' for years, I do not need their approval to be who I am.  They are keyboard warriors, they don't do anything constructive and they poison people. That said, they did teach me those lessons and for that, at least I should be thankful.  What am I saying?! Did I just hear myself saying I was grateful for being treated like shit? No way... well yeah, I did lol.  Remember my words from the last blog (what do you mean you didn't read it! lol) ...

"Every now and then, you have to go back through the door of your past and see exactly what brought you to the present -where you are now. By looking at your past in this way, you can recognise how much you have truly grown as a person, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The doors of the past should never be shut, as they will inevitable seal the progression of your future self."

So as hard as those lessons were, they are part of who you are now. Slam the door on those (insert expletive here), learn from it, move on. Keep screenshots!

My best advice to give those starting on their paths or even those halfway up them is this:

Be yourself. 

Go where your heart takes you. 

Listen to your gut feelings, 
they are rarely wrong.

Like attracts like

It's ok to be you - be an individual

You are not a sheep or a shepherd

Think for yourself - not others.

Never let anyone make you feel,

that you don't deserve what you want.

Be you.

Avebury sheep... no really it is! 

You never stop learning. You never stop finding out who 'you' are. You are you. It's ok to be you...

Granny, Green Man and Guides

Week 14 - as I can't decide which one, I shall discuss these three =o))

Paul Kidby - love his work! Just how you imagine the characters to look.

Granny Weatherwax
I love the Discworld novels, I've read them all countless times. My favourite ones are the ones with the witches in.  If you want to know about witchcraft, real witchcraft - read these books. I met 'Grandad' a few years back, he runs the Hitchhikers fan club and was telling me about how he knows Terry and apparently the witches are based on real people.  I love the fact that there's actually people out there like this.

Granny: “I don’t hold with paddlin’ with the occult. Once you start paddlin’ with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in demons, and then before you know where you are you’re believing in gods. And then you’re in trouble.”
Nanny Ogg: “But all them things exist.”
Granny: “That’s no call to go around believing in them.  It only encourages ’em.”

“There’s magic, and then again, there’s magic. The important thing, my girl, is to know what magic is for and what it isn’t for. And you can take it from me, it was never intended for lighting fires, you can be absolutely certain of that."

I don't read craft books. I like Granny's attitude to 'Boffo' and I agree, you don't need a special knife to cut air with for ritual, you don't need coloured candles, you don't need trinkets and triple goddess pendants to be a witch....... but if that's your thing, more power to you... we all need something to make it 'real'.  I don't but that's me lol

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Green Man

I love going into old churches and going Green Man hunting.  You can guarantee that if it's an old Norman church or from around that time, there will be a Green Man, on the ceiling.  The picture above is one that I took in St.Mary's church in Hitchin, nearly 1000 years old.  Just because they are churches, doesn't mean that the craftsmen that built them were Christian.  In the really early churches, you can also find Sheela-na-gigs - sometimes described as 'imps' in the church logs but these are often a female figure pulling open their lady parts and some have their tongues lolling out... there's lots of stories about them and no one can agree on their meaning.  It's the meaning you give it, I suppose, as with all things. Also another Green Man spot, is sometimes you find the old lecterns have what looks like Jesus with leaves and vines coming out of his mouth, which is actually very early Green Man carvings. 

When I'm gazing, I have seen the outline of a big green face in trees before. I feel that he is the spirit of the nature, of trees and things that grow. I have no thesis behind my attraction to the Green Man, nor have I read up on it to form an educated opinion. I just feel connected to him.  As always, I like to provide links to sources of information and I found a good one I think you'll enjoy, there's also a regular podcast. 

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Owl - one of my animal guides

Guides

I work with spirit. I have been made aware of several guides over the years. Each guide will come to work with you depending on what help you need.  It seems that everyone has a red Indian guide... no seriously, how many people have you heard speaking about their guides, haven't boasted about their Native American? Been in a spiritualist church lately? Seen the Indian pictures and then there's all those books on people channeling an Indian guide.  It's a bit of a phenominononononon lol

Just because you don't know they are there or who they are, doesn't mean they aren't there and helping you.

When I was sitting in development circle, I became more aware of my guides. I'm afraid to say that I lost the way a bit and didn't do much spirit work for a few years and lost touch with my guides. They are still with me though, I'm just not aware of them all the time.

There's a bit of a craze with people claiming to have animal guides.  Everyone always purports to have eagle, wolf or some power animal as a guide.  What's wrong with the other animals? I have been doing the Medicine Wheel cards for 20 years and there's a wide spectrum of creatures, all with stories from Native American cultures.  The nature of the creature, it's mannerisms and character, depicts those within yourself or ones you need to akin to.  We already met Rabbit in my Fear blog.  

You cannot always be eagle or wolf or some other noble creature... you have to learn the ways of all the animals, for they all have a lesson to teach about ourselves.  Claiming to be just the one, isn't a guide, it's your fantasy.  Fantasy has it's place but it's not spiritual growth to deny yourself these lessons. 

I've encountered a nun as a guide before. It surprised me at the time because I don't have any love for dogma or the confines of church.  But Cara (the name she gave me) was a carer, a healer and helped me understand the journey I was making as a healer.  There was four that I knew of at this time... all had something to teach me, not that I was fully aware of those lessons. Doesn't make them any less valid, knowledge can be glimpsed in dreams and the world around.  

Hope that makes sense... it's nearly 5am, my eye is twitching and telling me it's time for bed.

Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts x

Death

It is a subject that has kept cropping up this last week and last night, a beautiful old lady died at the age of 110.  Maybe my blog was late because I needed her words to inspire me.  Who knows.

The one thing certain in life is that you are going to die.  Morbid? Not really, it is a reality. I have found this last year, I have been very conscious of my own mortality and are times when I constantly think about me dying and what I'm leaving behind.  It's not constructive or healthy but it is natural considering I am going through the grieving process.

I lost my estranged brother to cancer last March. I also lost my ex-best friend Lorna to a heart attack. I lost a brother Knight Ghyll to cancer. I lost a friend and colleague Gail to a bike crash. The one year old boy called Ryan who I'd been sending healing to, died of the same cancer my brother did and another biker mate Tom died of pneumonia. All within a couple of months.  By July, I was a total mess. I was laying on the table at my osteopaths (he is also a reiki master and acupuncturist and clairvoyant) and he was sorting out my knees with acupuncture and talking about why I was upset.  He asked me why it was that I believed in the after life and spirit contact but was upset about death.  I replied that it wasn't the dying, it was what I left behind that upset me.  What would happen to my son, my home, my possessions, my cats... what would people say at the funeral, to my son, who'd raise him, would me cats be put in homes .... you get the idea. The thought of all of this ate me up inside.

As time has gone on, this fear has eased off but it's still there. Depression amplifies this fear and I'm up and down with that due to my current physical state. I'm due to have general anaesthetic next month for an operation on my knees. I have been sedated before but not totally under, that deep sleep could be a wonderful thing where I travel or it could be the death of me. I think it's the thought of the needles that's doing me in the most and the loss of control over my body.  So now getting my Will in order and going to do a video telling people what I want/don't want at my funeral.  In a non-morbid way, I've been planning my funeral music for years... music is such a big part of my life and when I've been to others funerals, the music played at them represented who they were.

I think it would be a good idea to make sure your family and friends know what you want to happen with your remains, the sort of funeral you want and what you represent. I've been to too many where the funeral was the last thing that person would have wanted and it was more what their family wanted. That's not right.

Yesterday the oldest survivor of the concentration camps died aged 110.  You may have seen her on documentaries about people living active lifestyles well past their 100th year. Alice was the lady who played the piano. Her music kept the spirits up in those retched places and gave some hope to those who had none. She continued to play until the day she died. It will be easier for me to copy and paste the news article about her life. It's worth sharing.

"I think I am in my last days but it does not really matter because I have had such a beautiful life.

"And life is beautiful, love is beautiful, nature and music are beautiful. Everything we experience is a gift, a present we should cherish and pass on to those we love."

Ms Herz-Sommer recalled "always laughing" during her time in Terezin, where she and other inmates put on occasional concerts.

She said the joy of making music had kept their spirits up.

"These concerts, the people are sitting there, old people, desolate and ill, and they came to the concerts and this music was for them our food. Music was our food. Through making music we were kept alive."

Life IS beautiful. Love IS beautiful. Nature and music ARE beautiful. She never lost sight of this and this resonates with me hugely.  I see the beauty in everything around me... even when I'm low.  So thank you Alice for reminding me that inspite of the horrors you face, life can be good.  What an inspirational, beautiful person.  Rest in peace, you've earned it x

Naked trees

Bare blue skies

Last years leaves

Litter the ground

Cold winds blow

A mighty chill

Rain turns to snow

The sun climbs higher

Daffodils and crocus

Snowdrops and catkins

Life has burst thru

The cold hard earth

Life is imminent

It's waiting to bloom

Green shoots and colours

Birds return home

Colder weather will come

Life still breaks thru

Defying frozen death

Under frost and snow

New life breaks thru

Winters death begins to wane

Sunny days and blue skies

Wake us up within

New life in Springtime

The lambing season not far

Cold winds may blow

Spring has been announced

written by me =o))

Edited to add that, life is about death. As a pagan, you observe the season changes.. when the world is reborn (spring), when it feeds us (summer) when we harvest (autumn) and when the world dies (winter). It's all about life and death cycles.  For some, death is just the next big adventure. Every culture, faith and religion in all corners of the world has their own version of what happens when you die, where you go and what you do.  As a medium, I know spirit goes on... death is only a transition. But by gods, it's a painful one, especially for those left behind.  As a healer, I try to make the transition as peaceful as possible but that's another story.  Thanks for reading x

Dreamtime

I saw this in the prompt list and thought hmmmm... think I'll give that a go.

Back in 1998, I met one of my spirit guides. Everyone has a Native American one it seems.. at that time I wasn't really aware of any of my guides, although I'm sure they were there all the same.

I was laying on my bed whilst on the phone to Lorna with a piece of Laboradite on my forehead, as you do, when I became aware of an Aboriginal man standing there, not wearing much and holding a big staff. He told me I could call him John, although that wasn't his real name. He also told me that we used to walk the Songlines together in a past life and that he'd stayed in spirit and I'd decided to be reborn. I have always had a longing to return to Ayres Rock/Ulura, although I've not been there in this lifetime.  I have friends in Australia and I intend to go there in the next couple of years.  Money is very tight but it's worth saving for.

Just wow! Source - here

The songlines are what we'd call leylines or meridians. They are energy pathways, linking places in the land. In the UK there are several main leylines that have prominent monuments on them. They are ancient procession routes, pilgrims walked them and worshiped at key locations on the way. These can be found throughout the Earth.  Some are so straight, it's a wonder how the ancients were able to map them without our modern instruments. Look at the pyramids - there's no clear view, yet they managed to line them all up within a few degrees. There's so many examples to give, it makes you think 'how' they did it. I find this all truly amazing and it's something I'm deeply interested in.

Source here

People seem to think that because you know about a past life, that it means you know everything about it. Not true. I am shown glimpses of it and then I have to work it out.  Also what I knew then, isn't what I'm supposed to know now unless I'm shown it.  I have found that I am able to tap into old knowledge, I seem to just know things... I will be given inspirations during a working to do something a certain way, which I believe is spirit guiding me. I certainly do not own any books on that sort of thing. I have had many past lives but as I always say to people, it's what you learn in THIS lifetime that's important. Usually there's a repeat lesson to learn... not sure what my one is. I keep coming back though, hmm.

I am a big dreamer. I travel in my dreams. I often get a flashback of my dreams a few hours after I've woken up.  They are always in colour and always so real.  I find myself thinking that I've been somewhere and then realise that it's only a dream memory, not one from actually going.  Very discombobulating. Had to get that word in somehow hahaha!  Your dreams are the key to your subconscious. I like to do dream analysis and have a couple of books that I use for reference. One is all doom and gloom, everything you dream is going to mean something bad... and the other is one of those you find in WHSmith, basic, with pretty pictures and a more user friendly.  Using keywords from these and some clairvoyance, I am usually able to give a good reading on a dream.

I have woken up, sitting up in bed before talking Italian. I can't speak Italian. I was talking to my great grandad, whom I never met.  I have woken up talking to a knight sitting on a chair in the corner of the B&B room opposite Beaumaris castle. That was freaky.  I often wake up talking and more recently 'what are you doing?' to a person who's saying something to me whilst I'm asleep. There's only me in the room.  It's really annoying! I have been woken up after it felt like I had been stabbed in the hand.  I turned the light on, looking at my hand to see if there was a mark and remembering the pain but couldn't see any evidence.  He's not visited recently but for a while, I could hear a deep voice and there was a man with tight curly black hair talking to me.  I got the impression he was Greek or from that part of the world.  I did consider whether it was my voice and even downloaded one of those apps on my phone to capture it happening. Haven't yet.

Dreamtime art, done for a school project! See more here

Lizard is one of my totem animals. Lizard is dreaming. Yes, I incorporate the beliefs of many nations, into my own. Their stories resonate with me. Yes, I have since met my Native American spirit guide.. I didn't want to be left out lol.

Living in a dreamworld

Reality within reach

Crystal blue skies

And a warm sandy beach

High peaks capped

With white fluffy clouds

Fast mountain rivers

With mist as their shrouds

Lost in space

As time passes by

Billions of stars

Burn holes in the night

Faraway places

That call to me often

Ayres rock, plateaus

Table top mountain

The inevitable question

Breaks my astral dream

My son wakes me and asks

'Mum, what's for tea?'

by me circa 1999

C is for Clairvoyance

Minsden Chapel

I was in bed, trying to get to sleep but you know how your mind spins and you try and clear your mind but nope, it's not going to let you get to sleep. Then I started coughing. How annoying, especially as I didn't have a cough before I tried to get to sleep.  So I got up and got a note pad with the intention of writing my thoughts down.  I wrote three lines. Then I thought 'I know, I'll make a video blog' and got my son's tablet, which then turned out, didn't have a video function. So I made it using my iPhone, not at all flattering and the picture quality is pants but you can hear me. Incidentally, the cough went as soon as I'd finished. Hmmm!

I realised afterwards that I'd gotten some dates wrong. I don't know what it is about me and time but when I try and recall things and the date they happened, I can't.  Usually I try and gauge how old my son was when it happened and that usually gives me a good idea what year it was. Seriously! Lorna fell out with me prior to 2002, so I can't have gone with her to Wales in 2003-4.  Luckily I take lots of photographs and I can check the dates, only the Anglesey pics were pre-digital camera, so without going through hundreds of negatives, I can only approximate the dates to when I was still living in my flat, so 1999-2001. How pants is that?! The Petre Ifan trip with my first visit to Stonehenge and Silbury Hill was in 2004 but just me and my son visiting our friend Red in Tenby.

That is the result from a lot of personal trauma that has blocked out so much good information. I remember all the bad but only get flashbacks of normal things I did as a kid or teenager or pre 2002.  You don't need to know the ins and outs of it but it defined me for a time, I think 12 years on, I'm finally working my way through it all.   Anyway, the video is about 40 mins of me having an honest chat about my beginnings with finding my clairvoyance abilities and the person who was a very important part of that. It's also a look at how hurt can create hate and what a waste of time that is.  I do regret that Lorna and I never made amends before she died, but I do believe she has since, as I describe in the video. So here's me, saying thanks Lorna. I still remember the hurt but I now remember so much more of our time together as friends. RIP.

Lorna Summer 2000

B is for - Blue Crow

What I'm about to share with you now is very personal. It is about my spiritual path and how I was given the name Blue Crow. I'm a bit wary expressing it as it goes but I think it's time.

Back in the day of forums, we had to invent a user name. Remember those? Lots of well known goddesses and the such were used.  I used to be IckleSlaine after my tattoo of an ickle Slaine McRoth (2000ad geek n proud). This was circa 2002. I then shortened it to Slaine, which I used for a few years.

Ickle Slaine

I went to work for the MOD in 2004 at RAF Henlow and outside my window was the Hunter gate guardian and some chestnut trees that these two crows used to sit in. I always did stare out of windows as a kid and not much has really changed.  I'd just started discovering my spiritual path. I had been down the spiritualist route and was the Secretary of the SNU church in Letchworth GC.  By 2004, I had discovered that what I was had a name and that was 'pagan'.  Everyone had their paths and discussed these at length and of course, people had their 'spirit' names. Usually these had some mystical creature in them and they often assumed a whole new personality (online) to match their character name. Yes, I went there, character name.  It is too easy to get caught up in playgan roleplaying... yes I went there too! Aren't I naughty lol ! I think what I'm saying is that a fair few of these people were full of shit really.  They did it because it was fashionable and because the big kids on the forum did it too and looked cool and knowledgeable. Fair enough, it's easy to get caught up in it all.

The point is, at the time, I didn't really know what path I was on. I had been told by three shamans (proper ones, not like the latest fad of wannabes DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT FFS) that I was a shaman. I had no idea what that was, other than the American Indian sort.  I did some research and found an excellent book called Shamans through time - 500 years. It was a big fat book of written accounts by anthropologists, missionaries and that ilk who'd gone into the world to study/explore/convert and had found shamans in near enough every culture. Their accounts vary from Christian bias to those who went to live with the tribe for a month and learn how the shaman works in their community healing the sick etc.  The original term of shaman was used for a tribe in Siberia but it has since become a generic term throughout the world. Not that the know-it-alls on the forum cared, if you weren't from that tribe in Siberia you weren't a shaman and you were a fake. 20 posts per page, 15 pages later... I'm still being flayed for daring to 'come out' as someone who'd been told I was a shaman but didn't know what that meant.  Oh My Gods, it was horrendous.  Nearly a decade has gone by and it still haunts me... and that's why I get wary sharing! Nice way to help someone on their path isn't it? So much for peace and love! Don't get me started....

View outside my office window on a foggy day

Anyway, I digress!
One of the many lunchtimes gazing out the window, I was daydreaming (also normal) and I wondered what my spirit name was. The crows were out front, playing about, looking for food, chasing off the magpie (usual stuff for them) and I got the name 'Blue Crow'.  It was just there, in my head. I asked why and what it meant and I received no reply.  It was about two years later that I was told what it meant.

I was writing a lot of poetry at this time and here is one I penned about my friends the crows at work. My friend Cliff Carr turned it into a song and has performed it at Avebury, which is a bit surreal hearing your words being turned into music.

Crow he calls

Oh how he calls to me

‘Pick up your ears and listen

For I have much to say!’

Can you not hear the call?

Can you not understand?

You can see crow everywhere

You can hear his calls

Loudly he cries his message

Over and over again

I pick up my ears and listen

To what he’s trying to say

‘Come follow me!

Go deep within yourself

Close your eyes and slow your breath

Spread your wings and fly’

‘Fly above it all and survey the land

Call out what you see

Feel the earth and skies unite

Ride the updraft of the breath of life’

This is the path of Sacred Law

This is the call of crow

These are the words that reach my ears

Crows call penetrates my soul

December 2004

Time flies and roll on December 2007 and I had that 'aha!' moment and then it made sense.. for a short time because you're not supposed to make sense of your life, only the lessons passing through it at that time.

Blue is the sky

That envelopes us all

Blue is the healing rays

Blue is the deepest seas & skies

Crow is the Keeper of Sacred Law

Truth of Time kept

Blue Crow is the Keeper of what covers us all

The whole world

All times

I hold it all

I cannot unlock these secrets I keep

Only Time will reveal them 

when they need to be

So there you have it. How I got my name and what I was told it means. It's hard to believe it's been six years since all that happened.  I will probably write more about it when I get to the letter S on the blog project. Blimey, just thought, that will be nearly at the end of this year... who knows what will happen til then. 

That last paragraph of the last poem may need some explaining. All I can say for now is - it's a past life thing.