Empathy

Week 10

Two blogs in one night and the last one was really emotional.  So here goes a hopefully shorter blog! (bet it's not lol)

empathy

According to the Oxford dictionary

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Wikipedia

Empathy has many different definitions that encompass a broad range of emotional states, such as caring for other people and having a desire to help them; experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions; discerning what another person is thinking or feeling; and making less distinct the differences between the self and the other.[6]

Since empathy involves understanding the emotional states of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If, for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy. On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by a combination of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process. However, the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate[7] and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained[8] and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.

Empathy necessarily has a "more or less" quality. The paradigm case of an empathic interaction, however, involves a person communicating an accurate recognition of the significance of another person's ongoing intentional actions, associated emotional states, and personal characteristics in a manner that the recognized person can tolerate. Recognitions that are both accurate and tolerable are central features of empathy.[9][10]

The human capacity to recognize the bodily feelings of another is related to one's imitative capacities and seems to be grounded in an innate capacity to associate the bodily movements and facial expressions one sees in another with the proprioceptive feelings of producing those corresponding movements or expressions oneself.[11] Humans seem to make the same immediate connection between the tone of voice and other vocal expressions and inner feeling.

Empathy is distinct from sympathy, pity, and emotional contagion.[12] Sympathy or empathic concern is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help as they cannot fix their problems themselves, often described as "feeling sorry" for someone. Emotional contagion is when a person (especially an infant or a member of a mob) imitatively "catches" the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.[13]

Why am I quoting dictionaries? Because the word empathy is used in the spiritual circles to mean something very different.  I've had this discussion with a friend before and it got a little heated.  This word is now used to mean those who can psychically pick up another's feelings, emotions and  intent. Like Deanna Troy from Star Trek Next Generation.  Deanna was half Batazoid and they are telepathic, so she could hone in on someone and pick up their impressions from them.  They called her an 'empath'.  Now everyone is using this word and it raises my hackles a bit.  Probably for the same reason why the way the word shaman is banded about... but that's another blog and oh boy, will that be an epic soapbox rant!

You are not an EMPATH. You are feeling empathic (which most humans are capable of) and a jolly good thing it is too, to be able to empathise with someone.  It's very different to sympathy and pity too, as it says in the descriptors above.  Having the ability to be able to empathise with people, to help them by relating to their woes, is a gift in itself.  I use this when I do tarot readings or having a heart to heart with someone. I relate things that have happened to me, to help people understand that they can face similar problems and get through it.

If you have that extra ability to pick emotions up, you are not an empath, you are clairsentient.

the ability for a person to acquire psychic knowledge by means of feeling

Now there's three types of spirit communication. Clairvoyance - to see; clairaudiance - to hear, and clairsentient - to feel.  Derived from French 'Clair' meaning 'clear', 'voyance' meaning 'vision' etc etc. It's also considered a type of ESP.  What it is, is not the normal run of the mill empathy. Most humans can show empathy, I say most, those with conditions such as Aspergers Syndrome have difficulties and I'm sure there's other conditions that remove this ability or reduce it.  Then there are people who really have it in abundance... that's not 'normal', that's clairsentience.

Why does it matter I hear you cry? Because it does. The same way that not everyone who practices witchcraft is Wiccian.  Like those who practice wicca aren't all initiated Wiccians (note the capital letter), like people who say they are a druid and haven't done the 21 years and people who do some drumming and think it's shamanic........... it does matter.  If you are going to openly declare your psychic/spiritual abilities then get it RIGHT or you end up looking daft.  And the forums will rip you apart, what with all that love and peace floating about lol.

That said, I do concede that the term 'empathic' is used beyond it's original meaning.  Star Trek Next Generation (which I'm a fan of) is 17 years old now.  Think about it... when did the new age lot start using the word 'empath' - bet it was after Deanna Troy came on our screens.

Meanings aside, the ability of clairsentience is one I have in abundance.  This is when you really need to learn how to not walk around the supermarket 'wide open' like I have done.  One time I was in Morrisons and there was this girl who walked past me, ouzing misery off her, can't blame the poor girl, the crap she was going through was bad.  She walked past me and I felt horrible, an empty feeling of pure hopelessness... of despair and pain.  I didn't know the full extent of all the crap she was dealing with until much later and she had every right to feel that way, poor girl.

I read a great article on empathy today that I will share with you. It rings very true with me... give it a read and see whether you tick all the boxes.  If not, that just means you're a run of the mill caring person who gives a shit about others feelings and likes to comfort them.  Nothing wrong with that, if only the world had more people like that in it.

You recall my last blog and I mention about the news? This is a paragraph from the empathy article:

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and may have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

I have What Dreams May Come on video.. I've had it since it came out and I've still not watched it because I know it will ruin me.  The Notebook... omg, beautiful film but the ending!  I'm sure other's got their hankies out but I reckon I used the whole loo roll.  And that's what it's like for me.. even though they are actors, in a film, I get over emotional and then it rattles around my head endlessly. I try not to watch them too often and in the case of What dreams may come... I have put it off for over a decade. I think that's cos Lorna said it was a sad film, she's in spirit now, I keep looking at it on the shelf and thinking of her, so I think I'll give it a watch this week.  Maybe.

The news slays me. Another thing I pick up is when I stop to help at road accidents. I pick up the panic, the shock and I feel myself choking down their emotions, tears prick my eyes and I have to tell myself to sort myself out so I can help the people (first aid, moving traffic before emergency services arrive).  I think that's why I never ventured in to the medical profession or the police, I'm too vulnerable.  I am hoping to start a carer in caring for the disabled, I like helping people, I like using my abilities to put people at ease, to heal.

Anyways, it's 4.40am, that's two blogs in three hours and my knees are telling me it's time to get off the chair.

So there you go... being an empath/clairsentient doesn't mean you are telepathic.. that's another thing entirely. I love sci-fi as much as the next person but don't confuse it with real life... that's how scientology etc got started!

Please don't be offended by my passion... that's just who I am.... like Marmite (vegemite sucks!)

Aha! Just spotted this paragraph in the empathy article... how bloody true!

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. Then again, for empaths, it is always nice to actually be heard themselves!