Empathy

Week 10

Two blogs in one night and the last one was really emotional.  So here goes a hopefully shorter blog! (bet it's not lol)

empathy

According to the Oxford dictionary

The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Wikipedia

Empathy has many different definitions that encompass a broad range of emotional states, such as caring for other people and having a desire to help them; experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions; discerning what another person is thinking or feeling; and making less distinct the differences between the self and the other.[6]

Since empathy involves understanding the emotional states of other people, the way it is characterized is derivative of the way emotions themselves are characterized. If, for example, emotions are taken to be centrally characterized by bodily feelings, then grasping the bodily feelings of another will be central to empathy. On the other hand, if emotions are more centrally characterized by a combination of beliefs and desires, then grasping these beliefs and desires will be more essential to empathy. The ability to imagine oneself as another person is a sophisticated imaginative process. However, the basic capacity to recognize emotions is probably innate[7] and may be achieved unconsciously. Yet it can be trained[8] and achieved with various degrees of intensity or accuracy.

Empathy necessarily has a "more or less" quality. The paradigm case of an empathic interaction, however, involves a person communicating an accurate recognition of the significance of another person's ongoing intentional actions, associated emotional states, and personal characteristics in a manner that the recognized person can tolerate. Recognitions that are both accurate and tolerable are central features of empathy.[9][10]

The human capacity to recognize the bodily feelings of another is related to one's imitative capacities and seems to be grounded in an innate capacity to associate the bodily movements and facial expressions one sees in another with the proprioceptive feelings of producing those corresponding movements or expressions oneself.[11] Humans seem to make the same immediate connection between the tone of voice and other vocal expressions and inner feeling.

Empathy is distinct from sympathy, pity, and emotional contagion.[12] Sympathy or empathic concern is the feeling of compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Pity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need of help as they cannot fix their problems themselves, often described as "feeling sorry" for someone. Emotional contagion is when a person (especially an infant or a member of a mob) imitatively "catches" the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.[13]

Why am I quoting dictionaries? Because the word empathy is used in the spiritual circles to mean something very different.  I've had this discussion with a friend before and it got a little heated.  This word is now used to mean those who can psychically pick up another's feelings, emotions and  intent. Like Deanna Troy from Star Trek Next Generation.  Deanna was half Batazoid and they are telepathic, so she could hone in on someone and pick up their impressions from them.  They called her an 'empath'.  Now everyone is using this word and it raises my hackles a bit.  Probably for the same reason why the way the word shaman is banded about... but that's another blog and oh boy, will that be an epic soapbox rant!

You are not an EMPATH. You are feeling empathic (which most humans are capable of) and a jolly good thing it is too, to be able to empathise with someone.  It's very different to sympathy and pity too, as it says in the descriptors above.  Having the ability to be able to empathise with people, to help them by relating to their woes, is a gift in itself.  I use this when I do tarot readings or having a heart to heart with someone. I relate things that have happened to me, to help people understand that they can face similar problems and get through it.

If you have that extra ability to pick emotions up, you are not an empath, you are clairsentient.

the ability for a person to acquire psychic knowledge by means of feeling

Now there's three types of spirit communication. Clairvoyance - to see; clairaudiance - to hear, and clairsentient - to feel.  Derived from French 'Clair' meaning 'clear', 'voyance' meaning 'vision' etc etc. It's also considered a type of ESP.  What it is, is not the normal run of the mill empathy. Most humans can show empathy, I say most, those with conditions such as Aspergers Syndrome have difficulties and I'm sure there's other conditions that remove this ability or reduce it.  Then there are people who really have it in abundance... that's not 'normal', that's clairsentience.

Why does it matter I hear you cry? Because it does. The same way that not everyone who practices witchcraft is Wiccian.  Like those who practice wicca aren't all initiated Wiccians (note the capital letter), like people who say they are a druid and haven't done the 21 years and people who do some drumming and think it's shamanic........... it does matter.  If you are going to openly declare your psychic/spiritual abilities then get it RIGHT or you end up looking daft.  And the forums will rip you apart, what with all that love and peace floating about lol.

That said, I do concede that the term 'empathic' is used beyond it's original meaning.  Star Trek Next Generation (which I'm a fan of) is 17 years old now.  Think about it... when did the new age lot start using the word 'empath' - bet it was after Deanna Troy came on our screens.

Meanings aside, the ability of clairsentience is one I have in abundance.  This is when you really need to learn how to not walk around the supermarket 'wide open' like I have done.  One time I was in Morrisons and there was this girl who walked past me, ouzing misery off her, can't blame the poor girl, the crap she was going through was bad.  She walked past me and I felt horrible, an empty feeling of pure hopelessness... of despair and pain.  I didn't know the full extent of all the crap she was dealing with until much later and she had every right to feel that way, poor girl.

I read a great article on empathy today that I will share with you. It rings very true with me... give it a read and see whether you tick all the boxes.  If not, that just means you're a run of the mill caring person who gives a shit about others feelings and likes to comfort them.  Nothing wrong with that, if only the world had more people like that in it.

You recall my last blog and I mention about the news? This is a paragraph from the empathy article:

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and may have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

I have What Dreams May Come on video.. I've had it since it came out and I've still not watched it because I know it will ruin me.  The Notebook... omg, beautiful film but the ending!  I'm sure other's got their hankies out but I reckon I used the whole loo roll.  And that's what it's like for me.. even though they are actors, in a film, I get over emotional and then it rattles around my head endlessly. I try not to watch them too often and in the case of What dreams may come... I have put it off for over a decade. I think that's cos Lorna said it was a sad film, she's in spirit now, I keep looking at it on the shelf and thinking of her, so I think I'll give it a watch this week.  Maybe.

The news slays me. Another thing I pick up is when I stop to help at road accidents. I pick up the panic, the shock and I feel myself choking down their emotions, tears prick my eyes and I have to tell myself to sort myself out so I can help the people (first aid, moving traffic before emergency services arrive).  I think that's why I never ventured in to the medical profession or the police, I'm too vulnerable.  I am hoping to start a carer in caring for the disabled, I like helping people, I like using my abilities to put people at ease, to heal.

Anyways, it's 4.40am, that's two blogs in three hours and my knees are telling me it's time to get off the chair.

So there you go... being an empath/clairsentient doesn't mean you are telepathic.. that's another thing entirely. I love sci-fi as much as the next person but don't confuse it with real life... that's how scientology etc got started!

Please don't be offended by my passion... that's just who I am.... like Marmite (vegemite sucks!)

Aha! Just spotted this paragraph in the empathy article... how bloody true!

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. Then again, for empaths, it is always nice to actually be heard themselves!

Energy healing

Sorry this is late.  I've been out of commission these last couple of weeks due to having the operation on my knees. Sitting at the computer was too painful. Still hurts a bit now but when you have to write, you have to write. So here's a very late E.

E is for... energy healing

I am a healer. I can't remember exactly when I discovered this but it's been for most of my life. I trained with the SNU church for a couple of years and they have a certain way of doing things. I was told you weren't allowed to give clairvoyance during healing. They also wanted you to work through the chakras. I soon realised that this is not how I work.

I'm not sure if this is the correct term, but I am a visual healer. That means that I am drawn to a certain area that needs healing.  Whilst healing after a Sunday service at the SNU church, the young woman was sitting down with her eyes closed. I had my hands hoovering over her sides when I was drawn to her stomach (sacral) area.  I could see nodules on her ovaries and I received some other information about babies and a miscarriage. So I gave it to her gently.. and you do have to be gentle when passing on sensitive information like loss. She confirmed she had polycystic ovaries and validated the other things I'd said.  She was genuinely surprised as it was her first time at the church and it had been things she'd been thinking of that day, an anniversary was coming up and it was playing on her mind.

Generally, this is how I work.  My hands heat up, my eyes 'find' the area that needs healing and I either go hands on or hoover above.  I like to test people too.  I ask them to close their eyes and tell me where they think my hands are. I hoover my hands at least 4 inches over them and every single time, they've been able to tell me where my hands are. Energy is felt.  I am the vessel channeling this energy through me and into them. I don't know how I do it, I just know that it happens. How would I describe what it feels like? Hmmm, that's a toughie. My eyes are closed, images come from the darkness behind my eyes.  I get a sense of something, it's probably spirit giving information, I can't give 'platform' clairvoyance yet.  My hands tingle. I imagine the energy passing into them, washing away the negative energy from that area and then imagine it drawn down into the earth and dispersed.  I'm usually in an altered state when I do healing.  It kinda just switches on. I give my hands a good shake and wipe off anything I've drawn out.  I read Betty Shine's books years ago and love her way of describing healing.  It was before I'd got the internet and when I did get online and looked her up, she'd sadly passed a year before.  When I read her website and all the words of condolence, I bawled, it really had felt like I had known her through her books.  I definitely recommend reading her books to anyone who's doing healing or clairvoyance. It's so simply written and honest. Would you look at that... she passed away on the 26th March 2002, which is tomorrow..blimey 12 years already.

Remote healing is just as valid as 'hands on'.  With the invention of the internet, first their came msn groups and forums. I remember being on Spiritualists Open Circle and doing remote healing for members in the group.  Private messaging giving readings.  People dismiss the ability to give readings over the phone or electronically but some of the best ones I've done have been this way.

Oh yeah, the healer always needs healing themselves, usually too busy helping others, than helping themselves.  It is important to not to give too much of yourself or you end up drained, ill and taking on the person's ailments.

The news

I don't know about you but watching all the terrible things in this world, does me in.  If there is a missing person or there's an accident, I will know if they are alive or dead.  Quite simply, I get an almighty chill through my body.  This also applies to friends on my Facebook who post up about a friend or family member that is ill or been in an accident. If I go cold, I know that they will pass over soon.  Of course, you can't tell people this because it's not the right thing to do.  In those cases, I will light a candle and send them healing to accept the transition and pass over peacefully with minimal pain.  Nothing wrong with hope.  In other cases where they are ill/injured and I don't go cold, I will comment positively and light the candle and send them some zapp.  I have only been proven wrong once (so far) and that was when my friend Doro was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  I went cold. I cried and cried, such a lovely person and I didn't want her to die.  A group of us did remote healing once a week at a certain time and I sent her everything I had, as did others. I even got my drum off the wall and tranced out on the gentle beat.  I had given her 18 months but that was 5 or 6 years ago now.  Her condition was very serious, when I say she was told she would have to have a hysterectomy and then when they went to do it, realised the cancer had spread too far, they wouldn't do it. She had radiotherapy (that left her with a host of digestive issues) and was also self-medicating with homeopathy. I truly believe that the combination of her treatment, her positive attitude and our healing, she not only beat her cancer but was totally clear of it. She has been given the all clear for these last 5 years, something the doctors are still baffled by.

I have in the past, been able to predict when a missing person has died and some times even been given information about how.  It's not like you can broadcast this stuff, so when your prediction is proved correct, so I write it down and tell a friend about it and then pray I'm wrong, I don't like being right about this stuff. I could give examples but I really don't want it to look like I'm blowing my own trumpet here because that's the furthest from what I'm trying to do.  There's some high profile cases that I have been right about and I'll happily tell you about them in person but it seems wrong to publish it on a blog.  But I will share this one with you.

Joanne

It was 2005, a young woman called Joanne had gone missing around Valentines day. Her boyfriend was on the news begging her to come home.  I went cold and then I was visited by her.  I had never encountered this kind of thing before. I didn't know what to do. She wouldn't leave me alone. She kept showing me things and wanted me to contact the police about her case. I must have spent a week crying from the grief and how distraught this spirit was in.  So I did it, I rang the police force dealing with the case. Ever done that? Ever rang up and given information from spirit to the police before? OMG! It went something like this: 'Hi, I need to speak to the team dealing with the case of the missing woman from Hull. Please don't think I'm a nutter because I've never done this before but this woman won't leave me alone. She's told me that there's a big bin behind a restaurant, something like New Hong Kong and there's stuff inside that he's hidden, a rug I think. He boyfriend has killed her, he's a big CSI fan, he thinks he knows forensics and got away with it. Her body is in a shallow dell, there's water and she's covered in leaves. She hasn't told me where, that's all. Please don't think I'm crazy' and the whole time crying.  Horrible horrible horrible and even now, I'm welling up at the memory.  The officer was nice about it, she said thanks, took my details and I never heard anything from them.  The woman left me after I'd made the call, I asked my guides to come down and help her cross over.

I was living in Letchworth in 2005. This woman had lived in Hull. I moved to Yorkshire 3 years ago. Last year, I suddenly started thinking about her and what had happened.  So I Googled it. Every hair stood up and I was in tears again.  I found the news report of when they had found her body. It was in a location that was very much like I had described.  I want to go to those woods... I need to finish the job, I don't think she's at rest.  He had stopped for fuel with her body in the boot of his car at my (now) local petrol station! Her body was found a few miles from where I now live!  Whilst typing this up, I had a quick search for the story so I could link it and found some things that bought it all back.  It seems that the information I passed on was accurate.  I can't say why she came to me in the first place but it freaked me out enough for me to 'shelve' myself until I was ready to deal with it.  It's a big responsibility and I wasn't ready for it.

Source:

Back inside his house he used string to tie together the hands and feet of the lifeless Joanne. He then bundled her body into bin liner bags and secured them with tape."
Dyson drove from Hull to Howden to fill up with petrol and from there took the body 75 miles away, to isolated woodland near Hovingham in North Yorkshire, where he carried her body around 250 yards until he found a concealed dip in the pine trees.

Other links to the story.
Daily Mail      Telegraph       BBC    Mirror   Guardian

I really feel the urge to find out more, to go to the place she was buried and see what else needs to be done. She did after all, chose me to pass on the message.  I didn't realise until this moment, what that meant and I'm honoured that my light reached out to her. RIP Joanne x

Another thing I just realised. There's the same age difference between her and her killer boyfriend as there was between me and my ex.  My ex was a psycho and abusive too.  He also also into martial arts, body building and thought he was a big hard man.  She even has the same coloured hair as me.... maybe that's why she chose me............ oh man, that really has got me thinking now =o((